We're Having a Heat Wave

My annual battle with the heat has begun. And this year it's especially urgent as poor Topaze is really feeling her age ... and the heat. The very first warm days, a month or so ago, she started being sick. She would cough up her meals or parts of them, she's panting and wheezing, and is listless and lacklustre. She wants to walk but has trouble coming back from the walks. One sad day I actually had to carry her the two blocks up from the lake. And she's not a light dog; it took several stages. For now she's limited to walking up or down the street to the stop signs (either four or seven houses).

Yesterday was the worst yet. The humidex was somewhere in the 30's and we spent a good part of the day in the basement. It's actually quite nice down there now that it's all fixed up. I had my handy new Canadian Tire camp cot, my iPad and laptop (wireless reception is fairly good); I ate my lunch down there too. But no matter how nice, the fact remains that it's still a basement - and I really don't like basements. I do like my dogs, however, so we even ended up sleeping there last night. I threw my memory foam mattress pad on top of the cot and had a surprisingly good, comfortable sleep.

I don't really want to spend every night there, though, so today it's on to Plan B. Dan isn't about to give up the bedroom (and has never been too hot in his life, hence is very unsympathetic) so I'm experimenting with our little portable air conditioner in the library. [I keep watching the thermostat to see if it's falling. No change yet.] Our windows are not designed for air conditioner vents so I've improvised with cardboard and duct-tape. And I'm hoping. It might just be my imagination, but it feels dryer if not actually cooler. Topaze seems to be breathing a little easier too, although it could just be masked by the noise! That, along with the blocked window of course, is the downside. But for happier dogs and a happier me it will be worth it. [Yay!!! We're down a degree to 77!]

When Everything's a Big Deal, Nothing Is

A rather sad trend in parenting these days is to celebrate every accomplishment - no matter how minuscule - in increasingly elaborate ways. Used to be that graduating high school and university were pretty much the only truly noteworthy events in a young person's life. Now, though, grade six graduations, kindergarten grads, even preschool grads are matters of pomp and circumstance too. It's all going just a little bit far. Same for sports teams where everybody gets the trophy even if they were the worst player on the lousiest team. Kids have so many medals and certificates that they become meaningless articles shoved in a drawer and forgotten the next day.

Kids aren't stupid; they know if they really worked hard at something or excel at something and actually merit an award. It's too bad more and more parents feel they have to make a big deal out of absolutely everything. It's sad because it debases the genuine accomplishments, which of course will be different for every child. Getting a high school diploma was actually no biggie for me because I knew I didn't have to work particularly hard for it. I cherished the English prize I received far more because that was my toughest subject; I felt I truly earned it. I felt proud of it.

So why do it? I guess the "keeping up with the Jones" factor is always at play. If every other kid is having a graduation party for kindergarten you probably should too or your child might feel left out. Perhaps some parents are feeling sorry for themselves and trying to recapture and reinvent childhoods where they didn't feel enough attention was paid to them. (I've never won a trophy for anything - guess I'm deprived!) And I'm sure a lot of it started with parents feeling guilty about not being there for all the little moments that are really what matter most in life. So they try to compensate - overcompensate - by putting special emphasis on easy to delineate events, even ones as small as finishing up the soccer season their kid missed most of the games of!

I worry a little about kids whose self-esteem is so fragile (or is being made that way by misguided parents) they have to get extrinsic rewards for every minor achievement. Life doesn't really work that way. How much better it would be to skip most of the medals and certificates and have a parent who sits across the kitchen table from their child and talks about each day, who knows what their child thinks and feels ... and, most importantly, when their child has done something truly special, no matter how small, and praises it. Now that's a child who will feel valued - and know what to value in life. That's a child who will be happy and successful even without a single trophy to show for it. Of course you should celebrate your big achievements with gusto. But knowing inside that you've tried your hardest and been your best is something to cherish even more.