I HATE iTunes!

Now don't get me wrong: I adore my iPad and I truly love many of my apps too. BUT ... I hate, loathe, despise and DETEST iTunes. It is one of the most convoluted, un-user friendly pieces of software I have ever had the misfortune to be compelled to use. 

I actually wouldn't use it if it were a mere matter of managing music; there are better alternatives. But I like to manage my apps and nothing else does that (at least not if you're not jail broken). I like them organised in folders and backed up for safety's sake, and I don't want to be re-downloading things. Today I finally got around to transferring purchases (I'd naively thought that backing up was enough; it's not), updating overdue apps, and the dreaded sync. 

That's where things didn't go quite right. On the bright side, I now have over five gigs of free space ... on the other hand, I have somehow deleted four gigs of apps and unfortunately have no idea which ones they were. Maybe a forced purge (followed by a forced reorganization) isn't such a terrible thing. I could probably stand to purge a lot more yet, particularly in my games section. And miraculously, even though Kindle, my pdf (Perfect Reader) and comic book (Comic Flow) apps were deleted at one point, when I put them back on, somehow all my books were still there! But it wasn't how I was planning to spend my day. 

A nice, friendly software would make it easy for me to arrange and rearrange to my heart's content. It would make it easy for me to sort my apps by date installed or uninstalled. It would let me search my collection of apps (now perilously close to 1000) in multiple ways. Maybe it would even give me little screenshot previews to refresh my memory of what exactly an app does. But that software doesn't exist; it certainly isn't iTunes. 

And I don't hold out much hope for improvements. Apple does hardware very well; software - not so much. They haven't been especially concerned with customer satisfaction with iTunes in the past, so I don't expect the trend to change in the future. Everything is going off to the Cloud anyway these days. But I don't want to worry about things disappearing or not being available for whatever reason, or extra downloading charges. I want to rely on me - not the nebula. So unfortunately for the foreseeable future I guess I will have to make an uneasy peace with iTunes and hope it doesn't decide to delete or rearrange too many things without my input.

Darn!

I darned a sock (Paisley puppy's latest conquest) this morning. Yesterday I was absolutely livid with her. I almost never buy myself new socks, certainly not expensive ones, but this pair had been a special treat to keep my feet warm on winter walks. I had only worn them two days before they were so ruthlessly attacked! I haven't had a lot of sympathy when Paisley chomped on Dan's socks because he always leaves them on the floor, but mine were hung up over the kitchen heater, tied on with elastics (one of which she ate too - saw the evidence this morning). What a monkey face!

Anyway, today I tried a salvage operation. It isn't especially pretty. My mom could definitely have done much better. Fifty or a hundred years ago the average ten-year old could probably have done better. Still, my sock has a fully functional - if not elegant - toe and cuff once more, and my toes were quite toasty on my long morning stroll. 

And the whole experience was actually surprisingly satisfying. We have so little opportunity these days to do creative, tactile type things. Experiences like sewing, knitting and crocheting that were once part of everyday life are crafts and hobbies you might indulge in if you have lots of spare time. With the exception of the odd artisan, they're certainly not regular activities. Nowadays it's much cheaper (and far less time consuming) to buy pretty much everything pre-made and to just toss it and buy another when something gets damaged. Sort of sad, really, because it does give you a genuine sense of accomplishment when you fix something. (I felt the same way the other day when I got a wobbly coat rack to stand upright once more.)

I certainly hope Paisley doesn't make a habit of noshing on socks - or anything else that doesn't belong to her. But it is nice to know that all is not necessarily lost if she does. It's nice to know that I still have a little bit of ingenuity and industriousness left in me, and that I can competently take care of at least one tiny area of my life.

Football Prayer

I am decidedly not a football fan - not of Canadian football, and certainly not of the NFL. But an item on the news tonight did pique my interest. It was about Denver Bronco's quarterback Tim Tebow. Apparently he has been making waves. It's not only for leading his team on a winning streak and the fact that he was a mediocre player never expected to make it in pro football. It's because, in a milieu where people are rich in money and poor in values, he is a devout Christian and not afraid to show it. He prays publicly (so much so that people mimicking his standard pose are said to be “tebowing”) and paints references to Biblical verses under his eyes. He's more than a football player; he's a football prayer!

And I think that's awesome. Lately it doesn't seem to be very politically correct to be a Christian. We're supposed to be sensitive to and accommodating of every other religion but our own. So to see somebody being a role model to thousands (millions?) of kids - and adults - is wonderful. Most of us, myself included, are too shy to do much public professing of our faith; it's great to see someone who isn't.

Now of course I don't believe that God particularly cares about the outcome of a football game, but I do believe that He cares very much about Tim Tebow. And if he isn't praying to win, but rather to do his best and use the abilities he's been blessed with, then I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't think God will care much if the Bronco's go all the way to the Super Bowl either. But if even one person draws closer to Him because of Tim Tebow, that will be a far greater victory and a much better thing. Pro sports can be a pretty seedy and sordid world, so it's nice to see one person trying to make that world a little bit better. Who knows who he'll draw in through his actions. It even made a total football-hater like me interested!

I Survived "Nano"WriMo!

I DID IT!!!!! I successfully navigated the treacherous waters of “Nano”WriMo and achieved my twofold goals: I wrote a blog entry every day and I wrote a poem every day. I am very proud of myself ... and now I can actually use the reward I bought a few weeks ago (a small Mouflon shoulder bag, just the right size for my wallet and a book).

So was it worthwhile becomes the next question. And I have to give an unequivocal yes in response. Not from a literary standpoint, but in other, equally important ways. From a literary perspective, the bulk of what I wrote is junk. Few of my blog entries were that insightful or well-thought out. (I never did achieve my sub-resolution of finishing up before dinner; too often the entries were late evening ramblings.) Most of my poems were just as bad ... but a few were surprisingly good, even to me. And they wouldn't have existed if I hadn't pushed myself daily, if I hadn't had that goal. So yes, it was definitely a worthwhile endeavour.

And even if every single blog entry and poem had been utter drivel, I would still have considered the month a rousing success. I have never been able to write consistently, but somehow having my goal (and accompanying reward) was a powerful motivator. I also really liked the “Habit Maker” app I used to track my progress. There was something extremely satisfying about clicking those green happy faces every evening. 

So will I be continuing on becomes the next question. Well, sort of. In an effort to put quality before quantity I've changed my goal somewhat. Instead of a forced poem and blog entry every day, my new goal is to write something meaningful daily. It could be a blog entry, a poem, an email to a friend - anything so long as I've actually put thought and effort into it. That way I can still keep producing but also focus on writing better. I'll report back at the end of the month on how I've done. (I don't know that I'll need any particular reward this time around, but I will still be clicking my happy face daily.) Hopefully by the end of the month I will have created a few more things to be proud of - and even if I haven't I will still be proud of my effort.

My Doggies are Home:)

Well, today is a substantially happier day. My puppies are home and all's right with my world (or at least that part of it). Their operations went just perfectly and I picked them up this morning - Hershey first, then I went back for Paisley since I didn't think it would be a good thing for her to be climbing all over him in the car. It's actually astonishing to me how quickly they seem to be recovering. Paisley's operation was more minor and, except for a few little licks at her scar (mainly out of curiosity, I think) she seems completely back to normal. Hershey's operations were more serious and he's a bit itchy and on painkillers for five days. But he too is amazing me. His appetite was bigger than usual, he was eager for his afternoon walk, he's up on the chair and sofa like always. Dogs really are quite remarkable creatures.

Now they say a body can get used to anything, and I suppose I could even get used to a life without dogs ... but I sure wouldn't want to. I think it would be a much narrower, more self-centred existence. It's good to have something outside yourself to care for and think of, and Willow, my fish, isn't quite enough. True, dogs tie you down a bit, but they give back infinitely more. I don't need fancy furniture or cars or vacations; the love I get daily from Hershey and Paisley is worth so much more to me. Just stroking their furry heads and hugging their warm bodies today made me feel so incredibly good. My doggies are definitely two of the very best parts of my life, and I hope I will always be blessed to share my life with dogs.

Dogless:(

This is a tough day for me. I am sitting here dogless and miserable while my two babies are at the vet having operations. I know it's the best thing for them. I know they're in good hands. But I still feel worried and bad. I don't want anything to go wrong and there's always a risk with surgery, no matter how minor. I don't want them to suffer and feel pain or fear either. 

The house feels so empty and dead without their presences. Even though they can be so quiet and still I'd hardly know they're around, I do. And it's so nice just knowing they are there. Even doing absolutely nothing, they are still the finest of company. It's also very good for me to have something to care for and to love; I need to be needed very badly in my life.

I will miss them even more tonight. Lying in bed with them this morning, I wanted to make the moment last forever. Hershey was curled between my tummy and thighs; Paisley was stretched long and warm up my back. It was about as close to a perfect feeling as I can have.  

Anyway, hopefully my entry tomorrow morning will be much different. Paisley for sure should be home; Hershey's recovery might take an extra day, but with luck he'll be here too. I am praying so hard that everything goes perfectly and that my furry family is one with me soon and, even better, that these operations will give them extra long, healthy and happy lives.

The Joy of Silence

Today Susan Schwartz had a column in The Gazette about the beauty and benefits of silence. In our modern world, it's a scarcer commodity than ever. We even have to use noise to mask other noises! Some people really can't handle silence well at all. It's too intimidating; it brings them too close to themselves, their thoughts and their feelings. 

Though Dan might refute it at times, I'm actually very appreciative of silence myself. If anything, especially lately, I've been surrounded by too much silence. I think I should probably be listening to more music, really. It's very uplifting and goodness knows I need that now. I should maybe be making more noise by singing along too (doing just that to a John Denver special on Saturday afternoon felt absolutely wonderful!)

As it is though, I give myself plenty of silence. I like to listen to the news and weather first thing in the morning with my breakfast. Then I will turn the radio off. I'll listen to the noon news and, if it's an interesting topic, some of the discussion afterwards, then off it goes again. If I happen to be driving, I may check out what's on, but if I don't like it I revert quite happily to silence. 

In the evening the tv goes on (or for the occasional weekend afternoon special, but otherwise I don't believe in watching tv during the day). There's Jeopardy and the occasional favourite show or a bit of news, but when I'm done with what I planned to see I quit watching. Sometimes Dan may have a game low in the background or be strumming on his guitar, but overall things are pretty quiet.

And my walks are absolutely sacred. Why on earth would I want to be plugged in when I could be soothed by the wind and the waves and the birds? 

Bedtime is usually quiet too. If I'm feeling particularly stressed I may put on a cd or listen to the Delilah show, but that's pretty rare. I find it can actually end up keeping me awake, and can also be jarring when it turns off. It doesn't give me quiet time to have a little chat with God either. More soothing is my little sound machine; I like to listen to stream sounds most often. That usually lulls me to sleep quite effectively.

All in all, I think my sound diet is pretty well balanced. I'm probably even a little underweight, sound-wise. Maybe it gives me a little too much time with my thoughts, but I still believe that's better than scarcely being acquainted with them. I think my life is better for the silences I enjoy, and that the world in general would benefit from a little more silence too.

Book Sale

This afternoon I went to the Friends of Stewart Hall book sale. Going to book sales has always been one of the highlights of my life. There are few things as satisfying as finding a treasure you always wanted - or one you never even knew existed. I must admit, though, that the lustre has been dimming over the last year or so. I have a wonderful home library with most of my true favourites. I'm also a member of two excellent public libraries where I can get most of the new releases I want to read. And finally, in addition to the thousands of physical books I own, I have hundreds more ebooks - again including many newer releases.

Therein lies the rub, I think. If I can get an ebook, do I really need a physical copy, particularly if it's a book I'm only likely to read once? My library has been expanded but still doesn't have limitless shelf space. It makes more sense to buy only things that I really loved or that I can't get online or at the library - and I'm not going to find many of those at book sales because they're either too new or too obscure.

I do like ebooks. I enjoy reading on the iPad - so much, in fact, that a dedicated e-reader will be under my Christmas tree this year. When you're into a story, the format doesn't matter much (although I must say that print books have the definite edge in my heart). But a part of me also really resents what ebooks are doing to print books. 

I've already written about the predicted demise of bookstores. It's more than that, though; eventually it will extend to print books period and even libraries.  I read an article about ebooks recently, in fact, saying how “real” books will pretty much be a thing of the past within a generation. Kids now are the last ones who will really even have known print books. Although a while back I did also read a much more optimistic article about a survey that showed kids still prefer to have a physical book in their hands to read. 

I don't like to even think about it ... but unfortunately I do see changes coming. I hope they're a lot slower and more gradual than some writers predict though. I hope I will always have the pleasure of browsing bookstores, libraries and book sales for real print books that I can hold on my lap and mark up and pile on my shelves. And I hope future generations will always know those joys too.

Happy Day

I was happy today. I say that with some incredulity because it's a rather rare occurrence for me. I often sit and wonder what it must be like to feel happy. I'll have vague recollections of what happiness is like, of having felt completely happy, but it's elusive. I won't quite be able to put my finger on the feeling. And then, unexpectedly, I felt it. And it was such a relief. I thought “wow, so this is how normal people feel; it's really nice!”

Now I want to figure out why, what did I do differently and can I replicate it? I've been taking more Omega-3's this week, as recommended in “The Depression Cure”. Did they just kick in? Ive been feeling closer to God lately; I'm sure He's helping me out. I kept busy, doing errands to the library, and several stores, but didn't overdo it. I got my Christmas shopping just about done (it's very satisfying to get exactly what you want and with good buys too). I exercised a good amount. I had the pleasure of seeing the dogs playing. I did some reading, had a brief rest, and watched some tv (the world tumbling and trampolining championships, “As Time Goes By” and “Keeping Up Appearances”). There was music in my life too courtesy of a John Denver special (I just love his singing!) and Dan playing guitar in the background. 

Everything seemed to work out right today: my timing was right, I wasn't ruining things by fretting and worrying; I was pretty much living in the moment, just enjoying where I was and what I was doing. Things just felt right and good. I wish I could bottle this feeling - or better still make a medicine I could take whenever necessary. It's so nice to know happiness can exist even for me. I only hope it isn't such a stranger in my life in the future as it has been in the past.

Black Friday

Wow, Black Friday really is black in at least some places in the U.S. I heard of two reports of pepper spray being used - one by a customer who wanted to get an x-box. There was at least one shooting. There were multiple fights. There were also reports of excessive violence by authorities trying to control unruly crowds. 

It all seems so uncivilised. I'm not a huge fan of Boxing Day either - or crowds in general - but it doesn't seem to descend quite so low. For starters, at least in Quebec, the stores don't even open until 1 pm. That's so much more sensible. You get to sleep in and have a restful morning. More importantly, the poor clerks get to enjoy a bit more of a holiday too. They work hardest of all on these types of days, but seem so overlooked. In the U.S. some stores opened at midnight - and people lined up from mid afternoon. (The only good thing is that it's a lot warmer than December 26th.) So the shop workers laboured right through the night. Some holiday for them!

And all that for what? To save a few dollars? Frankly, at this point I'd rather spend an extra few dollars and save the hassles. Maybe the sales are even bigger than I realize, though; we don't do spectacular discounts here very much. And I guess it could be kind of exciting and fun if you're not fighting mega-crowds in too big a city (I must admit that I do love a good bargain). Still I think I'll take Boxing Day over Black Friday. Or maybe a nice compromise on Cyber Monday, coming up next. And maybe eventually the only fighting people will be doing is over who gets to the keyboard and checks out their shopping cart first. Computers can work and clerks can stay home and everybody can enjoy a real holiday. 

Happy Thanksgiving

For the second day in a row, I was happy to be at home. Today was the American Thanksgiving and, while I think ours is at a more appropriate time (at least for our region), I must admit that Americans do Thanksgiving way better than Canadians.

It feels more like a real holiday there. For starters, you have a full four-day weekend. And besides just a big dinner, there are other celebrations and traditions surrounding the day - the whole weekend, really. It kicks off a whole month of celebrating, in fact - all the way to Christmas. There will be tv specials and extra sports games and of course tomorrow is Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Some Canadian stores are starting to try to emulate it, but so far the attempts are pretty pathetic. I looked through a bagful of flyers today and found even less worthwhile than in a typical week.

My favourite Thanksgiving tradition of all, however, has got to be the Macy's Parade. I was riveted to the screen all morning. (Canadians don't really do parades; the last decent one I saw was also American: the Rose Bowl Parade back in January.) Anyway, today started out with performances from a variety of Broadway musicals, which I just loved. I especially liked seeing Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) doing a number from “How to Succeed in Business”. He's smaller than I thought and his singing wasn't terribly impressive, but he's really learned how to dance! All the performances were awesome; the performers work so hard and always with smiles on their faces. I really liked the Rockettes a lot too.

Then it was on to the parade itself, the 85th edition! They had a good mix of older and newer floats and balloons featuring a variety of well-known characters. I always enjoy balloon favourites like Mickey Mouse and Kermit. My favourite float this year was Ocean Spray's woodland scene with a happy gang of cute critters. And of course, the parade has to finish with Santa (and Mrs. Claus') arrival.

Interspersed with the floats were more musical performances. They had individuals and smaller groups on the floats. I liked our own Avril Lavigne and also Neil Diamond. United We Stand, the U.S. Naval Academy Glee Club and Straight No Chaser were ok too. You could tell most everybody was lip synching though, although some were more obvious than others. 

Last but not least were various bands, dance groups and drill teams - pretty much all high school students. For many of them it is the highlight of their year and often their first trip to NYC. One band came 5000 miles from Hawaii! They are all so impressive and you can tell they work so hard. It really makes you feel positive about the future. They all look so confident too and mature; it's hard to believe the girls are only seventeen or eighteen - a lot of them look as if they're in their twenties or even thirties! Actually it makes me a little envious; I wonder if I could have been and done so much more with the right opportunities. And it looks as if they're all just having so much fun!

The whole parade is fun, though; the whole day (a dog show followed and tonight is a Charlie Brown special). It does wonders for my mood seeing people being positive and happy and enjoying life. I start to think maybe it is normal and possible and want to be that way too. Life certainly isn't perfect for many Americans, particularly right now, but they still pause and come together to be thankful for the blessings they do have and to enjoy the simpler things in life like family, friends and a nice dinner. And a good parade too, of course. You really have to admire their good attitude.  So Happy Thanksgiving to my American neighbours; may it be the start of an absolutely wonderful holiday season for us all.

Snow Day!

I guess I got Sunday's wish: today it snowed. There's always something magical about the year's first snow, sort of a Christmas morning type of feeling. Since I'm not working right now, I didn't have any of the usual apprehension over bad driving or parking either and was truly able to enjoy and appreciate it. The essential, unstressed, me adores winter and loves being able to curl up cozy inside or have the pleasure of walking in the new fallen snow, admiring its freshness and beauty.  (And I'm happy to report that my new boots are extremely comfy and warm.) 

This year was particularly special because it was Paisley's first time ever seeing snow! She was curious, but seems to have somewhat mixed emotions about it. At first she didn't even want to put her toes in it and was doing some high stepping. And immediately after piddling, she hid in her dog house. But then she came out and started sniffing and nipping at it. 

And she was actually pretty good about it on her walkies. She did lots of happy pouncing and bouncing. She is still skinny and definitely doesn't like the cold - she shivers, poor pet - but so long as she didn't stop for too long, she was just fine (although she seemed even more content curling up on the Lazyboy afterwards!) She doesn't appear to want to spend any more time outside than necessary, however; she doesn't even want to go down the stairs, though I shovelled them off nicely for her.

Hershey is much more of a snow dog, but it was sticky snow, so he was hampered by snowballs clinging to his legs. By the end of our walks he was practically waddling! You can't pull them off either; you pretty much have to wait for him to defrost.

Anyway, there is lots of winter yet to come (although not in the next few weeks; by Friday it will be back up to +9). So I'm sure both Hershey and Paisley will be having many more snow days bouncing happily through the fluff.

Rumination Two

Today is just going to be a few addenda to yesterday's rumination about, well, rumination. 

First off, I'll add two more suggestions:

11. USE THE COMPUTER. Nothing socially demanding like email or Facebook, but browsing to check if there are any interesting new books or magazines to download is ok. Very occasionally a non-stressful game for a brief time (otherwise I feel like I've wasted time). And, my gold standard: a visit to Cute Overload or LOL Dogs.

12. PLAYING WITH DOGGIES. Not just a casual toy toss, but down on the floor, rolling around on my back, completely engrossing play. 

Being engrossed in whatever I've chosen really is the key. So long as I'm super busy and structured (remember those daily goal lists!) I do reasonably well. Even with the best of intentions, though, I still lapse badly. 

So now for another tack, since all my previous suggestions might not be enough. When bad thoughts are going around and around and around in my head, I need words to replace them with - and fast. Here are my top three solutions:

A. “Breathe deep. Seek peace.” (That's from the Dinotopia books. Simple and straight to the point.)

B. “Ease the pounding of my heart by quieting my mind.” (From a poem about slowing down.)

C. “Bless me and grant me great increase. Be with me and bear* all my burdens. Keep me and all I love from harm and evil.” (That's my loose adaptation of the prayer of Jabez. I'm just not quite sure whether I should be asking God to bear my burdens or for Him to help me bear them. To ask Him to do it seems presumptuous ... but sometimes I feel that's what I need. I guess I'll just have to trust that He understands and will do what's best.)

Rumination Busting

Yesterday I started reading “The Depression Cure” by Stephen S. Ilardi. I think I'm more stressed and anxious than depressed, but nonetheless I'm hoping some of the suggestions might be relevant. Today I read the chapter on rumination, which is probably my biggest downfall. Along with offering some ideas for dealing with it, he advised brainstorming your own list of techniques. So here are my top 10 ways to keep my mind occupied:

1. WII. Something active and engrossing like a dancing game, sports game or Exerbeat. Nothing too laid back like Endless Ocean or that might make me frustrated like Mario Kart.

2. WALKING. Not just a regular walk with the dogs where I'm frustrated by Paisley's pokiness or too many sniffing stops. Ideally alone (or with only Hershey; maybe that will change later) so I can go at a good pace, and in a new neighbourhood with different houses to look at. (Early evenings when lights are on but curtains are still open are great - I love peeking in and seeing how places are furnished!)

3. BIKING. Especially if I have a destination like the library or even the grocery store.

4. SHOPPING. (Window shopping is fine, but 10-20$ to spend would be nice too.) At a different mall with stores I don't usually see or go into. 

5. FOOD. A little food treat (ice cream or a smoothie in summer, hot chocolate or soup in winter) would be an added bonus to a shopping trip or a bike ride. At home there's always my tea ritual. 

6. BAKING. Following a recipe really focuses your mind plus you get to eat the results! Unfortunately there's a limit to how much Dan and I can eat too, so I can't do this every day.

7. READING. An familiar old favourite like Betsy-Tacy, or maybe a new book I've been saving and really looking forward to.

8. HOUSECLEANING. Not as much fun as baking, but useful too. Vacuuming is odious but engrossing. And if I listen to music while dusting, it goes a lot better. Which brings us to ...

9. MUSIC. Listening to, singing along with, and/or dancing to. I think it's important to be comfortable with silence, but maybe I've been having a little too much lately. Belting out tunes along with old favourites like “The Partridge Family” is always fun.

10. RADIO. Music (see #8) or talk radio if there's a topic of interest. Even better if I can then formulate my own opinion on the subject and turn it into a blog/journal entry. 

New Boots:)

I live in Quebec thus, although it has yet to put in an appearance, winter is inevitable. So I was delighted today to find a new pair of winter boots on sale at Sears. I hadn't even gone footwear shopping - I was looking (fruitlessly, it turned out) for sheets and sweaters. But I passed through the shoe department and there they were: Kodiak's, 40% off, waterproof to the top of the ankles at least, warm to -50, and as good looking (nicer even, I think) as the 300$+ Uggs I'd been eyeing wistfully of late. They're tall and open wide to lace up easily over all types of pants. They're not shearling lined, but they do have a tasteful gray faux-fur trim around the tops. I tried them on - miraculously they had my size (7) and my colour (black) - and they fit as if they had been made just for me, which is also rather miraculous.

72$ isn't nothing either, of course, so I did think twice. But then I decided I deserved them. Interestingly, I'd just read an article today from psychcentral.com talking about how “what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while”. The things you do (or want to do) regularly, that mean the most to you and are a part of your essential self - those are where you should be concentrating your time, efforts, and, yes, money too. I walk every day - long walks and through snow (often deep) in winter. Having boots that keep me cozy, warm and dry are pretty important and I know I'll be using and enjoying them a lot.
Similarly, I'm saving up for the iPad 3; it's something I use daily and I will truly appreciate more speed and storage in the next version. And naturally there's always room in my budget for another book or two! But eating out? Not really interested and don't enjoy it nearly enough for it to be worth the money. Not crazy about much travel either; I'd rather invest in the house I live in 99+% of the year. No desire for a new car either; as long as mine goes reliably from Point A to Point B, that's more than good enough.
It really does pay to know yourself; I'm so glad I made the right decision and I'm so looking forward to wearing my new boots. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Not a Facebook Fan

I was musing with Dan tonight about the future of Facebook, mulling over when the fad might fade. People are notoriously fickle. Today's biggest thing is tomorrow's has-been. Though I can't imagine what the alternative might be, I also can't conceive of Facebook being the primary social vehicle twenty - or ten or even five - years from now.

And now I have a confession to make: technophile though I am, I do not like Facebook. I'll think I plan to use it more - I know it's a great tool in theory - but I really never do. For starters, I'm just not that social a person. I don't feel the need to share every aspect of my life with hundreds of my “closest” friends. I don't want to share my life period, actually; I like my privacy. I don't want to waste my time with silly games or with getting caught up in the trivialities of other people's lives either.

For some people, Facebook is wonderful. If their families are scattered around the world, if they're confined to home due to health issues, if they want to be in contact with people sharing a particular challenge like a rare disease. But that's not me. I still prefer real-life face-to-face contact, or even good “old-fashioned” email. Maybe if I were a sixteen year old girl again ... but I'm not that either.

And not all sixteen year olds are Facebook fans either. It's not so easy growing up online, particularly if you're not one of the popular clique. I've met kids who don't like it, who feel overwhelmed having to keep up with all the social media. They have to write on walls, read comments, tweet, or they feel they'll be left out and left behind. And that's without even touching painful issues like cyber-bullying or cyber-stalking. For a self-conscious teen, even having an unflattering picture posted on a friend's page can be traumatic.

Facebook has its time and place and people it's best suited for. I'm just not one of them.

Puppy Problems

First off, I adore Paisley. She's probably the nicest puppy I've even had. She has yet to meet one dog or one person that she disliked. She just goes up to them all politely, tail gently wagging, ears curled at the tips like the Flying Nun. She's pretty much housebroken (although you have to be quick enough to read her signs; she doesn't give a lot of warning). And, though she still has a fondness for the delicacy of carpet under-padding, her chewing is on the wane too.

There's just one teeny problem that's really trying my patience: she doesn't like to walk! Now I ask you, what sort of dog doesn't enjoy walkies? I've certainly never had one. But she is just so sensitive and so alert that everything overwhelms her. Sometimes she can only go a few steps before she has to stop and sit and adjust to the world again.

She has shown some improvement; last week we had a few good days but this week she's regressed again. Mornings by the lake are best; she seems really happy then. Afternoons are so-so and involve more coaxing and dragging. Evenings are pretty much pointless. I'm frustrated and she's not at all happy either. I rarely take her then; we're both happier if just Hershey and I go. And today I found we can add cold weather to the list of things she doesn't like. She sits and shivers and looks utterly miserable.

Of course she is pretty small and skinny yet ... and pretty young too. Still only four and a half months. But she's lived here for two and a half of those months. She should know the neighbourhood by now. Yet she still acts almost as scared on some streets as if it were day one, though she's walked them dozens of times. People reassure me that puppies don't like walking at first. I just wonder when they do start. I try so hard to be patient and encouraging, to make her feel more secure and confident. I chatter away cheerfully to her, and when she's walking well I praise her almost non-stop. Though I'd still adore her, I'd be pretty disappointed to end up with a puppy that didn't want to walk with me. So I really hope Paisley has a walking breakthrough soon.

Worried About Worry

I have a new thing to worry about: worrying! Until yesterday, I never thought of it as a sin. I know it can be futile, counter-productive, even destructive to your health, but I didn't consider it especially “wrong” in any way. Then I happened to read a devotional declaring that it is. I checked with the gospel of Google today (and by the time I'd entered “is worrying” it had already auto-completed with “a sin” so I can't be the only one curious about the issue). The general consensus? Yes, it is.

Now I like to think of myself as basically a good person - or one who tries to be, anyway - but if worrying really is a sin, then I'm guilty big time. Worrying is fear, though, and not trusting God enough, having faith that He will take care of you. So I can see the rationale. Like the birds of the air and the lilies of the field (Matthew 6:26 & 28) we should simply trust that our needs will be met. And I really would like to but ...

It's so much easier said than done. From the beginning worrying has also helped people survive. We've had to be ready at an instant for “fight or flight”. (And frankly I've seen plenty of birds worry too - particularly if a cat's in the neighbourhood.) It's genetic. Depending on the environment you were raised in, it can be learned as well. I'm sure God understands that and empathises with us.

Worry can even have advantages if you use it productively and take positive steps to address your worries. If concerns about health make you eat better and exercise more, that's a good thing. If worries about job prospects make you study harder, it's a good motivator. And if worrying about your retirement years makes you save more and live within your means that's good too. It's the worries that are irrational and taken to extremes that are dangerous and that are the really sinful ones I think.

For people like me who are predisposed to worrying, though, the battle to rein it in is tough. Just like someone who's predisposed to heart disease or alcoholism, I need to find ways to deal with my weakness. Intellectually, I know plenty already: exercise, adequate sleep, good diet, deep breathing, meditation, listening to relaxing music/sound effects, having a pet, being involved in things outside yourself, socialising, thinking about all the blessings you have to be grateful for - and, of course, prayer itself.

So many prayers have worry behind them (I wonder if it's the majority?) - worry someone won't get better, worries about jobs or finances; in our modern, fast-paced, materialistic world it feels there's more than ever to worry about. It's so, so hard not to. Worry isn't always rational either, and emotions are hard to control. And you worry precisely because you don't feel in control. Of course, that's especially when you should pray and give up your cares to someone who is.

At least I do see that I have a problem - a big one that's ruining my quality of life. Whether I can deal with it successfully is another question. Certainly not on my own. It's as if all the stresses I've had in my life have accumulated and now even small things overwhelm me. I really, really need help managing my worries. Guess I'd better get praying!

Exercise Redux

I am not having a good day. I am worried, stressed and depressed. Which brings me to another reason why I exercise. It's not just about “building up my heart and lungs”; it's as much or more about saving my sanity ... maybe even my life.

Recently I read a “Psychology Today” article where a doctor said that when patients call him in distress he tells them to go out for a 25-minute walk and, if they still feel as badly afterwards, to call him back. Allegedly, in all his years of practicing, he's never gotten that second call.

So these days I'm literally walking for my life. I'm very fortunate and grateful to live in a place where I can walk by the water and hear the waves. I'm also lucky to have two doggies eager to accompany me and to insist I get out even if I don't quite feel like it. They're so motivating, and it's so good for me. Sometimes I'm pretty lost in my problems and don't even feel I'm noticing all the beauty around me. But somehow I think it's still sinking into my soul, calming me at least a little, at least on some level. I'm at least a tiny bit better when I get back.

I know stress is bad for you - really bad. Probably as bad as smoking or overeating or excessive drinking. And I don't cope well with it. But if I didn't have my long walks by the lake, I don't think I'd be coping at all. Exercise might not cure me, but hopefully it will keep me from deteriorating. So I aim to keep on walking for my life every single day.

Participaction!

“Exercise, exercise, what's the big attraction?
Building up your heart and lungs - that's Participaction!”

That's an old ditty I remember from childhood - and, with today's obesity epidemic among youth (well, all ages really, but it's most dire for youth), one we could all benefit from still.

I did my part today: two long walks with my doggies, more walking at the shopping centre (where, unless I'm getting very heavy or bulky things I only ever park in one spot), the usual countless trips up and downstairs, and Pilates class to cap it all off.

I got into Pilates three years ago now. The community centre had an activity evening where you had ten-minute mini-lessons in a variety of disciplines and heard what each was best suited for. I pretty much instantly knew Pilates was what I needed. It strengthens your core, which in turn influences just about every other body part. It was perfect for my chronic neck and shoulder issues.

It still is. This year was a bit of an adjustment because we got a new teacher. It took me awhile to warm up to her and adjust to her style. At the beginning I didn't think she was going to be that good or teach that much. I still think she could explain the movements better - it's a very precise discipline and they have to be done correctly - but at least I had a good foundation already. And I like that she's doing a wider variety of exercises. Some days are better than others for my neck and shoulder (and very occasionally I hurt myself enough that I need a Robaxacet the next day) but overall it's a very good thing. My neck especially has improved since I began.

So I seem to have found my exercise niche. I'm doing my bit to “participact” and I hope other people find their own activities too. It especially hurts me to see sedentary kids. They're chauffeured to school and home, aren't allowed outside to play, and are pretty much glued to screens of various types for far too long. The amount of phys. ed in schools is laughable too. I could rant on and on, but the ultimate point is that if we want a healthy future, it needs to start with healthy kids today.

If I ran a school, every single day would begin with fifteen or twenty minutes of calisthenics and I'd encourage kids to walk or bike (or rollerblade, scooter, skateboard or even ski) to school every day too. Walking to and from school took me - most kids then - at least an hour a day. (the best was in winter, when I went the whole way climbing from snowbank to snowbank - awesome! And the idea that I was “exercising” never even entered my mind.) I'm absolutely convinced that if kids had more activity in their lives there would be far less hyperactivity in the classroom. Kids are made to move; we should be taking advantage of that in every way possible before it's too late.

The Battle (of the Blades) Has Ended

The battle has ended and the warriors can retire their blades. Only, unfortunately, the result wasn't what I'd hoped. Expected, perhaps, but not hoped.

The “battle” I'm talking about is a uniquely Canadian type of warfare. It's “The Battle of the Blades” where lumbering hockey players are magically transformed into elegant ice dancers. This is the third season and I've been a fan since day one. It really is wonderful to see hockey players develop not only their skating skills but also their personalities. They become more confident, more artistic and by the end they're so good you wish they were coming on tour to your local arena.

Last season was actually my favourite. They had such a strong cast. I truly believe it wouldn't have taken that much more effort to make Valeri Bure and Ekaterina Gordeeva a genuinely competitive team, they were that good. It took a long time for viewers to warm up to them, though. They were far too frequently - and completely undeservedly - in the bottom pair, skating off for survival on Monday night. Maybe people resented Russians dominating a Canadian event. So I was really pleased that justice prevailed in the end and the best team won the prize.

I don't think that was the case tonight. My personal favourites, Marie-France Dubreuil and Bryan Berard came second, and I think that was right. It's first and third I have a problem with. I think the true winners were Tanith Belbin and Boyd Devereaux. They were elegant and talented, had a real unison and connection with each other and the audience, and really exemplified the ultimate goal of turning hockey players into figure skaters. They truly were ice dancers.

But as so often happens in the real world, showmanship won out over substance, tricks over talent, and the number one spot ended up going to Tessa Bonhomme and David Pelletier. She is the first female hockey player on the show, and I think that gave her a big fan base from the get go. And David, of course, is legend. He's massively talented ... and insanely strong. That's what they capitalised on. He could pick Tessa up, spin her around, do the kinds of things he'd spent a lifetime training for and that the hockey players could never match. His partner was almost an afterthought, a plaything.

I think Tessa was pretty brave to allow herself to be picked up and tossed around, but I don't think she really developed enough as a skater herself. In a solo she was hesitant and very mediocre. She was stiff and not particularly flexible (not even as much as some of the guys!) The moves she did attempt were basic - I could have done almost as well. So that's where my complaint lies. Yes, their routines did look quite spectacular, but it was David making Tessa look good. She didn't develop as a skater nearly as much as many of the guys. David won the competition; Tessa was a pretty postscript.

Ultimately, though, all eight pairs are winners. They all advanced their skills and performed incredibly. All their charities are winners too, because every bit of the prize money involved in the show is donated to worthy causes. And the audience members and television viewers who were treated to eight weeks of skating magic win as well. A battle with no losers; what could be more apropos, what could be more Canadian.

Paws and Pray

Paisley and I “Pawsed and Prayed” this afternoon. We both attended the monthly service for animals and their human companions at Christ Church Beaurepaire. It was our second visit. Dan and Hershey came to the previous, pet blessing service.
This month's theme was remembering our departed companions, and I remembered Perky, Nicky and Topaze. I'm positive I'm a better person because of them; they gave me so much more than they ever asked.
It was also about seeing our dear furry friends again in Heaven. There have been lots of theories and debates over that one. The gist today was that a loving God will do everything to see that you are happy in Heaven ... and if happiness for you includes Fido or Fluffy, then Fido and Fluffy will be there too. That's pretty much what I believe as well. Heaven is supposed to be perfect. Without my doggies, it just wouldn't be. If there are going to be grass and trees and buildings and streets, why wouldn't there be animals too? It only makes sense.
The corollary, of course, is that you have to make it to Heaven too or there's zero chance of reconnecting with Fido. That brings me to another point: is having an animal church service “kosher”, so to speak? I'm sure there are people who would say no. They'd say animals have no place in a house of worship and distract you from God. And Paisley was a little more active this time than last, but she certainly was less trouble than a young child. Much more importantly, she's what drew me to the service. Without her, I wouldn't have been in church at all. The whole service I could feel love emanating right through her. And isn't God love above all else? If paws help you pray, bring you closer to God, then an animal service is exactly what at least some people need.

Nostalgia Night

Saturday is my nostalgia night. I watch old shows that are like old friends and fond memories of old days.

Saturday is Britcom night on VPT and Mountain Lake PBS. I've watched Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced “Bouquet”, if you please) on “Keeping Up Appearances” for what feels like forever. I remember my dad complaining about her antics close to twenty years ago! I don't watch as many episodes as I used to - most weeks there are at least two ... both of which I'll know practically verbatim. Whenever I do, though, it brings me back to happy Saturday nights in our living room on Belmont, watching with Mommy and Daddy, and maybe Dan and Ajay too after a nice homemade pizza dinner.

More recently I've become a fan of another oldie: “As Time Goes By”. I'm appreciating it's humour more and more, and somehow I'm feeling a real affinity for the main characters, Jean and Lionel. I like the way they bicker yet have such love and tenderness underneath it. I like the quick witted verbal repartee. And I like the familiar old British expressions like “in two shakes of a lamb's tail” and “if you think --- then you've got another think coming” that I've heard all my life - and use regularly myself too.

And to start off the evening, there's “The Lawrence Welk Show”. I don't watch it every week; it's really not Dan's favourite. But if I like the theme and the songs they're going to perform, I try to get away with it. It's really an oldie. The episodes they show jump around from black and white days in the 1950's until it wound down in the early 80’s. It was in its last days when I was young and watched it with my mom. Even my parents found it kind of outdated really. I still like it though. It's so wholesome and reminds me of simpler, happier, more refined days that maybe never even existed ... but that I like to imagine did. Even their recent Halloween show was a kind of “fun” scary that I could handle. So even though I may be the only person on the planet (at least under the age of fifty - or maybe sixty or seventy) who actually voluntarily watches, I enjoy it too.

So that's my Saturday night. Not everybody's cup of tea I'm sure. Perhaps nobody else's cup of tea. But to me it's an absolutely perfect way to end the day and I couldn't think of any better or happier way to spend a Saturday evening.

Good-bye Steve, and Thank You

A little over a month ago, on October 5th, Steve Jobs left the planet at the far too young age of 56. Not that he hadn't accomplished plenty - several lifetimes worth, probably. But it's always too soon, isn't it.
I'm a relative neophyte when it comes to the world of Apple. I've never doubted that they make good products; I've just never been convinced that they make the only products worth considering. I still think my Windows laptop works just fine and that my Sony mp3 player is more versatile than an iPod (at least the regular ones; the iPod Touch is a different animal altogether). I believe too that you'll get more bang for your buck with those alternatives.
But Steve was a true visionary and, at least in the iPad, created something truly unique and magical. It, along with some of the other innovations he has introduced with the iPhone and iOS, has forever changed the way people interact with technology. I don't think it's too strong to say it is revolutionary and life-changing, at least for some people. I know I use my iPad extensively and in ways I couldn't have imagined two years ago. It's literally put computing in my hands; in fact it's almost like an extension of me! And who knows what other Jobs' inspired creations might be still under development in the Apple labs?
Apple isn't perfect; I'm often underwhelmed, even frustrated, with their tiny incremental updates - still waiting for a decent camera on the Touch, guys - but what it does, it does very, very well. I don't think Steve was a perfect person either. Like many people who accomplish great things, he was driven, obsessed, sometimes harsh, excessively competitive and, my personal pet peeve, he swore too much. (Sorry, Steve, but that instantly diminishes my respect for a person.)
I've heard it argued that it's really Bill Gates we should be worshipping since, through his various foundations, he's slowly eradicating childhood diseases, fighting poverty and fostering education in places that just wouldn't have hope otherwise. I don't want to take away from his accomplishments a whit; I think the world is more than big enough for two heroes.
Anyway, thank you Steve for all you did, for your visions and for the determination to make them reality. You were both inspired and inspiring, and I hope you're thoroughly enjoying your next big adventure. Reportedly your last words were the enthusiastic “oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!” That bodes pretty well, doesn't it.

Emily Teaches a Lesson

A few weeks ago I finished rereading (for the umpteenth time) Maud Hart Lovelace's “Emily of Deep Valley”. I'd forgotten just how good it is, and how timely even though it is set a century ago. One of the main storylines concerns Emily's involvement with the Syrian immigrant community who were being ostracised by the local townspeople.
The theme I'm interested in writing about tonight though is the depression that can come when life doesn't go quite your way. Emily was a bright girl who yearned to go to college, but couldn't leave the elderly grandfather she lived with. Rather than mope or wallow (at least too much) on life's injustices, however, she decided to make the best of her situation. She involved herself with different causes, most notably the Syrians, and continued studying and learning too. In the process she attracted a surprising number of interesting people too and found she wasn't nearly as lonely as she'd expected to be.
One quote from the book sums up at least a part of Emily's philosophy perfectly:

“We have to build our lives out of what materials we have. It's as though we were given a heap of blocks and told to build a house.”

Somehow I find that immensely comforting. Now, when I'm feeling dissatisfied with some aspect of my life, I think to myself that I just have a different pile of blocks from other people, so naturally my house will look a little different. I've had a number of constraints and responsibilities in my life that don't always feel very fair. But if I were to be completely honest, I also have a number of blessings and good things to compensate, although, like many people I don't focus on those enough. Thanks to Emily (and Maud - funny how my two most favourite authors are both Mauds), I think I've found a measure of contentment I had been lacking.

Ban the Blower

Of all the useless tools and appliances people have invented over the years, by far the biggest abomination - the one that I would banish from the planet - has got to be the ludicrous leaf blower. It creates air pollution. It produces unwanted noise pollution (especially at 7 AM, the hour I was rudely awakened to a raucous cacophony of blowers this morning). It doesn't even provide good exercise for the lazy pseudo-gardeners who wield it like a weapon of war. They think they look so rugged and tough with their mighty power packs strapped to their backs. I know they look ridiculous.

A leaf blower is just a giant outdoor vacuum, noisy and unnecessary. I'm none too fond of indoor vacuums either (why hasn't anybody ever been able to put a muffler on the things?) but I concede they serve a purpose for which no good alternative is available. Brooms and carpet sweepers just can't suck up as much dirt. Lawn mowers have their place - the scythe is a little slow for the modern world. And in snowbound regions like Quebec, a snow blower is beneficial too; shovelling is not a safe form of exercise.

But a leaf blower? It's one of those gadgets nobody really needs. Whatever happened to the noble rake? Leaves are infinitely lighter than snow and raking is a decidedly healthy activity. (And most of the people I see brandishing leaf blowers certainly look as if they could benefit from a little more physical exertion.) For that matter, if they really want to be lazy and environmentally friendly to boot, the generally agreed upon best option is to just mow your leaves into your lawn and let them turn to mulch over the winter.

So citizens of the world unite! It's time we banned the blower and restored the humble rake to its rightful place in the garden shed.

Tonight the Words Won't Come

Wow ... I don't know what to write tonight. I do have a list of ideas waiting to be explored, but somehow I don't feel as if I could do any of them justice this evening. Probably I shouldn't have left it so late - no, I definitely shouldn't have left it so late. After watching all the drama of “Glee” (plus two long walks and Pilates class and cleaning three bathrooms today) I'm mellow and droopy and decidedly unmotivated.

So I think I'll just reflect a little on how my personal “Nano”WriMo has been going. Yesterday I celebrated one full week of blogs and poems! Not all of them are great writing, but not one of them would have existed at all if I hadn't made the commitment to start. And so I have to be proud of myself. I didn't always feel like it, but I've written every single day. For me, that's a real accomplishment.

The next thing to work on, I think, should be timing. It's become my bad habit to leave the writing (especially of the blog) until late in the day - evening, actually. And nights have never been my forte. Like little Paisley, I pretty much turn off by eight. Yes, I force myself to do it, but I think I could do it even better earlier. Perhaps it wouldn't feel so much like forcing either. After all, the ultimate objective is to make writing something I actually want to do and, moreover, look forward to doing pretty much every day. So I've added a third goal: to have at least my blog done by supper time. Hopefully it will make for some better posts ... and a happier poster too.

P.S. Just for the record and posterity, my apps of choice in this endeavour are iA Writer for blog entries (and Blogsy to actually post them and add any pictures or formatting) and Pages for my poetry. And to keep track of my progress I just got HabitMaker - best monitoring app I've found yet.

iOS Woes

Well I had been having a good day. I tidied up, made applesauce and oatmeal scones, had a couple of lovely walks by the lake and a little visit with Barbara (our neighbour across the street).

All was well until this evening, in fact, when I opened up iBooks on my iPad to see what I might start reading next and discovered that my choices were rather limited. Very limited actually. They were so limited because virtually ALL my books had been DELETED! And checking iTunes on my computer didn't help much because THEY WEREN'T THERE EITHER. (Yes I need capitals; that's you I'm yelling at, Apple.)

Near as I can figure out, it's yet another iOS 5 casualty. When I upgraded a few weeks ago, I was one of the many people who lost their music. That wasn't much of a dilemma since I only had one double cd, but for others who had hundreds of albums, thousands of songs all carefully organized, it was a catastrophe.

I'm really not happy to lose my books though. I do have everything backed up on my laptop, but how am I supposed to remember which ones I had lined up and ready to read? I lost all the books I'd read too - along with all the highlights and annotations I'd made. It's not a total disaster I suppose, but it is decidedly disappointing.

The other iOS 5 issue I have is that I can't really sync properly with my iTunes anymore. Yes I can opt for the backup and sync options and they seem to work, but if I want to choose apps to sync from my itunes list, suddenly my iPad content plummets to about 3 GB from 28 GB. That means most of my apps wouldn't be syncing and I'd be spending HOURS re-downloading (assuming I could even remember which of my hundreds of apps I'd kept on the iPad itself) and MANY MORE HOURS categorising them. I'm not willing to do that; I'll just have to settle for a few missing books and songs.

So I guess I've learned a lesson I should already have known. Never Never Never take a new update right away. Let other people be the guinea pigs who find the bugs and quirks. Guess I got caught up in the heady excitement of a big new upgrade. Really, though, there is very little of benefit to me in iOS 5 - certainly nothing that could make up for the inconveniences it has caused. Sorry Apple; this time you messed up. It didn't “just work” at all.

Day is Done

Today is about the saddest day of the year for me. It's the day we “fall” back to Standard Time. And though technically we gain an hour, I always feel as if I lose so much more.

I have trouble with dark. I guess I have a bit of SAD. And so I particularly hate to see my precious sunlit hours disappearing. Now no matter what, the days are getting shorter, have been for months, and will continue to do so for almost two months more. But that being said, it really hurts to lose an hour when I feel we should be saving daylight more than ever.

I have no great desire to be dressing in the dark either, or course, but to me it's still infinitely preferable to taking my “afternoon” walk in pitch black. Already the sun was gone by 5:30; to lose it at 4:30 is painful. I know it was originally helpful to farmers without electricity in their barns to have extra light early in the morning. When most kids walked to school it would be safer too. But now everyone's electrified and few kids walk to school. Wouldn't it be better for them to fat least be able to walk home and even (novel idea alert), play outside for awhile? I'm sure we'd save some electricity too into the bargain.

Anyway, as usual, nobody asked my opinion. (If they had, I would vote for saving daylight year round. I'd even give “double daylight” or “daylight and a half” a shot!) So I will unfortunately have to settle for soaking in as much daylight as humanly possible until that happy day in spring when we spring forward once more to the right time ... the bright time.

Good Night Mr. Rooney

Andy Rooney, America's favourite curmudgeon, has passed away at the very respectable age of 92. Now I don't know too much about his television persona; when he began his 60 Minutes stint in 1978, we didn't have cable - and even if we had I would have been too young to appreciate his wit and wisdom. And by the time we finally did get cable and I was a bit more mature, it just wasn't a show on my radar.

I was always far more of a reader than a television viewer anyway though. And I did have access to a plethora of book sales where I picked up several of his anthologies of essays. Those I thoroughly enjoyed, and I plan to read his final books soon. I didn't get every reference, of course, particularly the political ones, but Rooney was at his best when he was waxing eloquent about the most ordinary and mundane facets of life.

You didn't always agree with him and sometimes you were bemused by his bafflement with the modern world, but you certainly loved and admired the grumpy old man behind the words. You have to respect anybody who can make his living complaining about life in three-minute sound bytes once a week. In fact, if I can keep this blogging thing going, I'd quite happily apply to be the next national curmudgeon! I like to gripe too; if I could raise it to an art form the way Rooney did, I'd be very satisfied indeed.

Sleeping Pretty in My Snoratorium

A few weeks ago there was an interesting item from House Beautiful in my Flipboard app. It talked about how one of the newest trends in bedrooms is the “Snoratorium”. This is a sort of annexe or partition or even an adjoining room that one member of a couple can repair to when the partner is snoring. Along with twin beds - supposedly something every couple over 45 is perfectly fine with - this is the new way to sleep in the modern age.

It definitely has validity. People are so sleep deprived these days they need all the help they can get. And no matter how in love two people are, their sleep styles just may not mesh that well. After two nights of poor sleep I was more than content to move to my study (henceforth to also be known as my own personal snoratorium) last night.

Dan and I are very different sleepers so I've had plenty of experience there. For starters, though a warm room is fine to begin with, I like it to cool down overnight - 65 is plenty. I like to be snuggly in cozy pyjamas with a few blankets ... and a heating beagle. But Dan feels 72 is just barely warm enough - even with blankets. At that temperature though I sleep fitfully and, worse, am prone to bad dreams. Dan also likes the curtains open, which is fine overnight, but will wake me up first thing. I need the tv power light off and the alarm clock too. Plus I love the memory foam mattress in my study. I do have a memory foam pad on my half of our bed, but it just isn't as good. Then there's the issue of blanket sharing (Dan doesn't). All that before we even get to snoring. He does, though I'm sure I never do more than a gentle whiffle, despite claims to the contrary. And there's scheduling too. Dan can go to bed late, get up early and make everything ok with a midday nap. I need to rise and sleep at the same time pretty much every day and I just don't do naps.

Phew, that's quite a list - and quite a few reasons to prefer the comfort of my own bed. I love Dan a lot, but I can also love him a whole lot better when I'm well rested. A tired me is not a pretty thing. So whether it were in vogue or not, I'd still happily be spending nights in my snoratorium, but it is nice to know that for once I'm actually following along with the latest trend.

There's a New Love in My Life!

There's a new love in my life and her name is Paisley Belle. She is my precious just turned four month old beagle puppy and she is a total sweetheart who I am absolutely smitten with. She is not the "new Topaze" any more than Topaze was the new Perky. She is her own adorable doggy self with her own unique personality.
We got her at a farm in Sunbury (near Kingston) on Labour Day weekend. She was a tiny and shy five and a half pound little pippin. Now, almost two months later she has doubled in size, but is the same timid and gentle soul. She is probably the sweetest puppy I've ever had. She is nice to all people and dogs. She is learning not to nibble and is finally catching on to the idea of housebreaking too. Her only "flaw" is that she is not very fond of walking yet. She's pretty good by the lake, but the streets have too many noisy and scary things ... and forget about going out at night; that's even scarier! I do hope she gets over this phase fairly soon; I'd be rather disappointed to end up with a dog who doesn't want to walk with me. But she is, as Mary Poppins would say, practically perfect in every other way. I love her to bits and hope to have a lifetime of happy memories with her.

Going Low-Tech in Silicon Valley

There was a fascinating article in the October 22nd New York Times that really called into question the role of technology in education. It focussed on very high-tech Silicon Valley executives who have chosen to give their children a very low-tech - no-tech, actually - education.

These are intelligent, affluent people who could send their children anywhere and who have made a very deliberate decision. Their children attend Waldorf schools where traditional educational principles and practices and hand-on learning are the emphasis. Classrooms are filled with books not computers. Children do music and arts and crafts, baking and knitting. Tech use is not introduced until the eighth grade; even television and movie watching is discouraged.

And the success rate is amazing. These are students who will be filling Ivy League universities in the next decade. These are kids who can read and write and calculate, who are focussed and creative, who are sociable and who can think outside the box. (And these traits seem to be characteristic of most Waldorf schools - not just the rich, Silicon Valley ones. From what I've read, lower class students attending these type of schools are also significantly more likely to end up in the Ivy League ... and on full scholarship too.)

Now I suppose you do want to take the article with a grain of salt. These are children, for the most part, from well-to-do families who can get their daily dose of tech at home. Their parents are obviously committed to, and involved with, their education to an admirable extent. They could quite likely succeed in a variety of milieus. But the fact their parents specifically opted for this type of educational experience does say something. It says that the type of human being they want to raise is far more than someone who can text hundreds of words a minute or download the newest app. They want kids who can think and be creative and, moreover, believe those are the types of people future employers will want too.

I agree. Particularly at the primary level, there is so much that needs to be learned. I would much rather schools focus on producing kids who are literate and numerate at or above grade level. I want students who, when they are taught to research online can actually focus on and read the articles they find, and who can think about what they're reading instead of mindlessly accepting it, kids who can draw their own conclusions and generate original ideas. They can easily acquire tech skills in middle and high school and, by then, will have enough of a background of ideas and knowledge that they can use technology that much more effectively and productively.

I'm not saying to necessarily ban all tech either. It can be a godsend for students with certain educational challenges. For underprivileged students who don't have access to technology at home it might be a great motivator too. But it can way too easily become a time-waster and distractor - not the productivity enhancer or key to getting ahead so many parents mistakenly believe it to be. There's such a short time to be a kid and so much to learn; let's leave the technology until they've become well-rounded enough people to use it to its best advantage.

"Nano"WriMo

Today is the start of NaNoWriMo - the 13th annual National Novel Writing Month. The ultimate objective is to produce a complete 50000 word (or approximately 175 page) novel during the one month period from November 1st to 30th. And this year, for the first time, I am going to be a participant - albeit in my own unique way.
I have always wanted to write more, but I have never been successful at it. This year I have the twin luxuries of both time and an iPad. I have apps like iA Writer and Blogsy to write with; I have apps and web sites to track my progress. I have a laptop, a bluetooth keyboard. Really, what possible excuses do I have NOT to write???
I am not a novelist, however - at least not at this point in time. My objectives, therefore are significantly more modest. If I achieve them though, it will still be a HUGE breakthrough for me. My goals are simple and two-fold:
Each day I want to accomplish two things:
a) I want to write a blog entry. Any length. Any topic.
b) I want to write a poem. Ditto.
So my daily word count might be as little as a few hundred, far from the almost 1700 needed to complete NaNoWriMo successfully. For me, this project is more aptly called "Nano"WriMo; even the tiniest bit of writing will be a big achievement if it's done on a daily basis. Since habits are reputed to take at least 21 days to form, hopefully by the end of the month writing regularly will have become my new best habit. Wish me luck. I'm already one day and 293 words closer to my goal by the end of this sentence!

Don't go, Indigo!

Or Coles or Chapters or Babar. Or any other bookstore either. I was horrified to read an article this week predicting the imminent demise of the brick-and-mortar bookstore. It figured the last of the independent bookstores would close - or be converted to cafés - in 2015 and even the last chain stores would be gone by 2018. After that Amazon and other online retailers would rule the literary world.

It may be a bit melodramatic to say, but I don't know that I want to live in a world without bookstores. (And if they disappear, can libraries be far behind?) Yes ebooks are convenient, portable, and don't require shelves to store (my brand new library, the delight of my life, is already obsolete!) but there's much to be said for the physical and sensual experience of the real book too. And how delightful to pass an afternoon browsing through a bookstore, discovering hidden treasures you could never have found otherwise.

I believe at least some books will remain as interesting artifacts and art objects. Collectible and used bookstores may hang on. And (at least until they invent unbreakable and chew-proof ereaders) books for kids should be safe. But, disheartening as it is, I think the article has a point. Retail stores are expensive propositions. So is publishing hard copies. You can find a lot of new books through Amazon links and Goodreads too. And once you're into a story the format you're reading in sort of fades into the background. Personally I'm not reading quite as many books digitally as physically yet and I do still buy "real" books, but it's admittedly fewer than in the past. And I hate the thought that I'm contributing in any way to the demise of something I treasure. I guess that's what "progress" is though: things change, like it or not. Still, I hope the predictions were a bit too hasty and that at least some (I'll concede there will be fewer) bookstores hang in for the rest of my life. A world without them is a sad, sad thing to contemplate.

There's a Beagle-shaped Hole in my Heart

(Picture is of Topaze lazing on the front lawn this summer.)

In the wee hours of the morning on August 15th, my beloved beagle Topaze took her last breath on this earth. Now she is prancing about heaven with Nicky and Taffy and Perky and all the other dogs who left before her. And I fully expect her to be waiting, tail awag, when I arrive many years from now.

I loved her so much and I miss her so much. I can still feel my hands running over her sleek back, sliding down her tail, and especially stroking her beautiful velvet ears. Without her I somehow feel empty and incomplete. I've had a beagle in my life for the bulk of my life - thirty years now! Beagles aren't the easiest breed, it's true ... just the best.

I am definitely a beagle girl. Topaze (and Perky before her) taught me all about love and loyalty, bravery and forgiveness and I know made me a better, happier person. Some of the very happiest moments of my life are the simplest: strolling leisurely by the lake, snuggling together on the bed in the morning and, especially, reading on the loveseat in my library, Topaze curled warmly on one side, Hershey on the other. Now Topaze's earthly remains are watching from atop a bookshelf, next to Perky's. So they're both close to me still; just not the way I'd wish it. Dogs' biggest flaw, really, is that they do only live fifteen years or so. But I guess we should be grateful it gives us a chance to meet so many.

And what a wonderful fifteen years I had with Topaze! We did obedience and flyball, had hikes in the woods, a few trips to the Maritimes, and countless walks by the water. And when I am ready - and it could be soon - I hope I will be led to yet another beautiful beagle girl to share my life with and to brighten my every day.

Bye Bye Jack

As if we needed any more proof that life is blatantly unfair, Jack Layton, leader of the NDP, died early this morning of cancer. He was just 61. Now this was a man who did everything right. He exercised religiously, ate very healthfully, and despite a busy schedule wasn't the sort of guy to stress out. He was pretty mellow and laid-back actually. He was a genuine person, loved and respected by people of all political persuasions. To be taken at the height of success, after leading the NDP to the role of Official Opposition and essentially annihilating the Bloc Quebecois only months ago, is just so wrong.

And so sudden. When he temporarily stepped aside as leader at the end of July to undergo cancer treatments he confidently - albeit weakly - spoke of returning for the opening of Parliament in early September. That might have been a bit optimistic; I felt maybe the beginning of 2012 would be more realistic. But somehow, though you worried, you didn't doubt him. He'd already overcome prostate cancer and campaigned right through hip replacement recovery this spring. He was a fighter and so so positive. How could he lose this skirmish? Except that he did. You sort of wonder if even a guy who kept in such good shape could succumb, what chance would an ordinary person have?

Anyway, my thoughts and prayers today are with his family and friends. All of Canada has suffered a loss and is the poorer for it. I fervently hope his successors will be able to carry on his legacy in the way it deserves. I hope they stay true to his values and ideals and continue to be a real party for the ordinary person. And I hope Jack does attend the opening of Parliament in spirit since he sadly won't be there in body.

I'm Making a List and Checking it Twice

August is a lazy time of year for me typically. I'm usually dopey from heat and a little bit at loose ends about how to fill each day. It's easy to putter around doing nothing in particular until I suddenly notice another whole day is gone and I haven't really accomplished much of anything. Not that there is so much that absolutely has to be done on any given day. Mainly it's lots of odd jobs where it really doesn't matter which day they get done. Still, they do need to be done sometime, and the good old-fashioned paper checklist is my current miracle tool.

There is something so fulfilling about writing stuff down, no matter how trivial, and then checking it off when it's finished. Sometimes I even add an item to my list after I've finished it, just to have the pleasure of checking it off! Pathetic? Perhaps. But it works.

Naturally "there's an app for that". I've downloaded several to-do list apps. They're good too. Still, at least for me, a paper list I can scrawl onto absolutely anytime is the number one choice. The act of physically crossing something off is so satisfying. And as fast as the iPad is to launch, my paper list is even more instantaneous. And when the day is over and everything is done (or moved to the next list) I can just scrunch it up and toss it away.

For a procrastinator like me, the list is a godsend. My biggest trouble is that I sometimes have difficulty estimating how long a task will take. Electronic tasks in particular are notoriously hard to predict. Yesterday I had to reinstall Dan's baseball game. I thought fifteen minutes would suffice, but it was more like forty five ... without letting myself get distracted or off task either. It was just plain slow. But I can tell you that checking it off felt awfully good.

Today I've come up with another dilemma. What happens when everything is done? Except for a concert I may or may not go to tonight (and very basic things like walking the dogs and making supper which I don't put on the list at all), I really have finished all I'd earmarked for today. Guess what I need to do is make sure I either have a list of any-day odd jobs saved up, or start scheduling in a few fun things too. "You must read for at least an hour today. You must eat a Popsicle!" That could be kind of fun. And now I absolutely must go and have a cup of tea and do a few puzzles - it's not on the list yet, but it could be soon!

"Montreal is falling down, falling down, falling down ... "

The Mercier is dubious. The Champlain is suspicious. Turcot is troubling. And now you can add the Ville-Marie tunnel to the (increasingly lengthy) list of places I'd really rather not drive in Montreal.
Yesterday morning a 15-metre by about 1-metre thick slab of concrete (25 tons worth!) crashed down across all three lanes of the eastbound tunnel. It was a Sunday morning miracle that nobody was killed. But it certainly doesn't inspire confidence in the state of the city's infrastructure.
Of course investigations are still ongoing and a large part of the tunnel is closed indefinitely as we ponder what exactly is going on here. One theory in yesterday's collapse is that people working on the tunnel walls somehow jarred the section loose with their vibrations. But it obviously wasn't a concern at the time because the tunnel was wide open to traffic. And if it's really that fragile, what about the vibrations from the hundred thousand plus vehicles that use the tunnel every single day?
This province has a sad history with our roadways and bridges. The du Souvenir and de la Concorde overpass collapses are still all too fresh in people's minds, and we certainly don't want any repeats. A combination of age, extreme weather, excessive traffic, questionable construction quality and inadequate maintenance can be deadly. Hopefully this very narrow escape from tragedy will wake up the province to the realization that we have to be far more diligent with our roadways. I know Quebec City is the jewel in the province's crown, but Montreal is its driving engine and if people don't want to drive here - or live or work here - the whole province will suffer. It's high time our biggest city gets some big investments. Next time we might not be so lucky.

We're Having a Heat Wave

My annual battle with the heat has begun. And this year it's especially urgent as poor Topaze is really feeling her age ... and the heat. The very first warm days, a month or so ago, she started being sick. She would cough up her meals or parts of them, she's panting and wheezing, and is listless and lacklustre. She wants to walk but has trouble coming back from the walks. One sad day I actually had to carry her the two blocks up from the lake. And she's not a light dog; it took several stages. For now she's limited to walking up or down the street to the stop signs (either four or seven houses).

Yesterday was the worst yet. The humidex was somewhere in the 30's and we spent a good part of the day in the basement. It's actually quite nice down there now that it's all fixed up. I had my handy new Canadian Tire camp cot, my iPad and laptop (wireless reception is fairly good); I ate my lunch down there too. But no matter how nice, the fact remains that it's still a basement - and I really don't like basements. I do like my dogs, however, so we even ended up sleeping there last night. I threw my memory foam mattress pad on top of the cot and had a surprisingly good, comfortable sleep.

I don't really want to spend every night there, though, so today it's on to Plan B. Dan isn't about to give up the bedroom (and has never been too hot in his life, hence is very unsympathetic) so I'm experimenting with our little portable air conditioner in the library. [I keep watching the thermostat to see if it's falling. No change yet.] Our windows are not designed for air conditioner vents so I've improvised with cardboard and duct-tape. And I'm hoping. It might just be my imagination, but it feels dryer if not actually cooler. Topaze seems to be breathing a little easier too, although it could just be masked by the noise! That, along with the blocked window of course, is the downside. But for happier dogs and a happier me it will be worth it. [Yay!!! We're down a degree to 77!]

When Everything's a Big Deal, Nothing Is

A rather sad trend in parenting these days is to celebrate every accomplishment - no matter how minuscule - in increasingly elaborate ways. Used to be that graduating high school and university were pretty much the only truly noteworthy events in a young person's life. Now, though, grade six graduations, kindergarten grads, even preschool grads are matters of pomp and circumstance too. It's all going just a little bit far. Same for sports teams where everybody gets the trophy even if they were the worst player on the lousiest team. Kids have so many medals and certificates that they become meaningless articles shoved in a drawer and forgotten the next day.

Kids aren't stupid; they know if they really worked hard at something or excel at something and actually merit an award. It's too bad more and more parents feel they have to make a big deal out of absolutely everything. It's sad because it debases the genuine accomplishments, which of course will be different for every child. Getting a high school diploma was actually no biggie for me because I knew I didn't have to work particularly hard for it. I cherished the English prize I received far more because that was my toughest subject; I felt I truly earned it. I felt proud of it.

So why do it? I guess the "keeping up with the Jones" factor is always at play. If every other kid is having a graduation party for kindergarten you probably should too or your child might feel left out. Perhaps some parents are feeling sorry for themselves and trying to recapture and reinvent childhoods where they didn't feel enough attention was paid to them. (I've never won a trophy for anything - guess I'm deprived!) And I'm sure a lot of it started with parents feeling guilty about not being there for all the little moments that are really what matter most in life. So they try to compensate - overcompensate - by putting special emphasis on easy to delineate events, even ones as small as finishing up the soccer season their kid missed most of the games of!

I worry a little about kids whose self-esteem is so fragile (or is being made that way by misguided parents) they have to get extrinsic rewards for every minor achievement. Life doesn't really work that way. How much better it would be to skip most of the medals and certificates and have a parent who sits across the kitchen table from their child and talks about each day, who knows what their child thinks and feels ... and, most importantly, when their child has done something truly special, no matter how small, and praises it. Now that's a child who will feel valued - and know what to value in life. That's a child who will be happy and successful even without a single trophy to show for it. Of course you should celebrate your big achievements with gusto. But knowing inside that you've tried your hardest and been your best is something to cherish even more.

Pandora, Three Months On

I've had Pandora, my iPad, for three months now. Am I still as smitten as I was at first and, more importantly, how has having her changed me? Am I better in any way for it? Are there any unexpected consequences that I didn't foresee?

Well, yes, yes, and yes. I am still totally in love I must admit. I use her every single day; it's almost as if she's an extension of me. It hasn't exactly been the easiest three months of my life and I haven't accomplished as much as I would have liked, but now that I'm on holiday - and finally sprang for the Pages app - hopefully I will become more productive.

How do I use her? That's surprising me a little. I do read on her, but probably less than I expected to. I'm way behind on my magazine list; ditto for books. I have so many it's a bit overwhelming. To narrow myself down and focus on just one or two at a time is tough. Once I'm into a book, though, I'm into it - a good read is a good read and I see little difference between reading a print version and an iPad version (if one is available). I haven't written much either though I also have the Blogsy app. Like I said, I hope to change that this summer. My rough goal is at least four blog entries (or some other equivalent writing) a week. I definitely like the writing experience a lot better than I expected. I can type pretty darn fast now.

Besides reading and writing, I'm surprising myself with how acquisitive I am. I check three app sites faithfully for new freebies (I've only purchased a very select few apps) and have downloaded hundreds. I just can't pass up a bargain. Even if I'm not sure I'll ever actually need or use an app, if it's free for the day, I'll download it on the off chance I might want it someday. It's so bad I have less than a quarter of what I thought would be a spacious 32gb free! And that's with only one cd and one movie - and even after having removed a significant number of apps. Of course I've discovered some pleasant surprises doing that too - favourite games like Fishdom, Hand of Greed and, just this weekend, Fishdom H2O; a TV Guide, a great web browser, Maven ... there are a few apps I really enjoy and use regularly.

It also surprises me immensely how many games I've amassed. I've never ever been a gaming person, but now I really enjoy playing a variety for a few minutes here and there. I guess I'm basically a games dabbler by nature. I'm especially attracted to a whole new genre for me though: hidden object games like Fishdom H2O, and BigFish's Amazon HD. Sometimes I feel a little guilty playing when I could be doing more practical things, but I also think a little play might be exactly what I need these days. It's nice to be so immersed in a game that I forget everything else for awhile.

Overall I do think I'm a happier, if not a better, person for having Pandora. There's always something new to do or learn or try with her. She's a fun companion and a useful distraction from any bad things. My brain really seems to like the stimulation she provides. At first I felt a bit antsy using her - especially gaming before bed, but that's dissipating a little now. I know how to mange her - and me - better. A quite hidden object game or reading a book, not a magazine, is best. My biggest negative comment would be that it is pretty easy to let yourself get distracted on her. I can be reading along but then stop for a definition, then want to just check out a link or reference online, then want to just pop onto one of my sites to check for new apps for a sec, then just want to play one of my games for a minute ... you get the picture. And I'm a fairly focussed person. I can imagine some kids just hopping all over the place and not accomplishing anything at all. It's hard to resist the allure when you have so much quite literally at your fingertips. But for me that's a small price to pay. For me, Pandora is one of the best things to have happened in quite some time, and I truly love her and expect to be using her for a long, long time (or at least until the iPad 3 arrives next year!)

Stress and the Urban Brain

There was a very interesting item on CBC News a week or so ago on how the stress of living (or having grown up in) an urban environment can cause very real physical changes in the brain. It's disturbing to think how many lives are potentially being compromised, since more and more of us are living in cities. If you think about it, though, it really is a "no-brainer".
Being constantly surrounded by the hustle and bustle of other people, vehicles, noises of all sorts, not to mention being confined by buildings and endless stretches of asphalt and cement can really wear you down. And there is no down-time to speak of. It's a constant assault on the senses 24-7.
I didn't exactly grow up in the heart of a city, and my biggest "stress" as a pre-schooler was attending nursery school a few mornings a week. Yet when we moved from NDG to the more ... spacious ... Valois, it was as if my world lit up. Before then my memories are dark (not in the sense of depression, but actually physically dark as in the absence of light. I'm sure we had plenty of sunny days, but they just didn't register.
As a child and still today I sought out the peace and tranquillity of nature. Whether it was a walk in woods and fields or climbing up and reading in my beloved old willow tree, I craved that contact and escape. Vacations to the true country were even better. It felt so liberating to be able to run for miles along a stretch of beach or empty road, to even just see vast empty spaces.
I am so lucky today that even though I live in what is officially a suburb, I am still exposed to an abundance of nature. I can sit out in my back yard canopied in green listening to songbirds. I can walk barefoot through the grass. I can stare out at the open vista of Lac St. Louis, hear the waves, wade right in if it's warm enough. When I drive down my quiet, sidewalk-less street and hear the crackle of gravel on my driveway and the omnipresent sound of the wind through the trees, it's as though my whole soul breathes a big sigh and my whole body untenses.
Unfortunately millions of people aren't so fortunate. And as this photo shows, their brains may be paying a price. The areas representing fear, stress and anxiety are clearly more active in urban dwellers. Supposedly there are more instances of schizophrenia too. Now I stress enough as it is; possibly due to a genetic predisposition, maybe my earlier more citified years had some influence, most likely just because of the series of unfortunate events that has encompassed much of my last ten or fifteen years. I do know that if I didn't have the contact with nature my soul so craves, I would be infinitely more stressed-out and miserable. Nature, in a way, is helping me stay sane and grounded. Nothing is better after a tough day than a long walk by the lake. I really hope lots of city dwellers heard this story and that they too can find their own little urban Edens for the good of their souls and, ultimately, the good of the world.