Mourning Lac Mégantic

This was a horrible weekend for Canada, for Quebec, and most especially for the tiny town of Lac Mégantic (about 250 kilometres from Montreal, near the Maine border). A large chunk of its downtown was blown off the map - quite literally - in a scenario that read like an implausible script from a very bad movie.

Briefly, late Friday night a freight train with seventy plus cars of crude oil stopped for a change of driver in the town of Nantes, some seven kilometres up the track from Lac Mégantic. The driver put on the brakes and left for his hotel. Apparently people noticed a small fire on the train, called 911, and it was put out by the local fire department. Then it seems the train was left alone to await the next driver.

That's where the tragedy really begins, because the train didn't stay where it had been parked. Somehow it started moving - unmanned! - gathering speed on the steep (8 degree, where 2 is already considered high) downgrade. As it approached the next town down the line it was going way too fast to make the upcoming curve. 

And it didn't. It derailed in the worst possible place: the dead centre of the town, where people were out in a club enjoying one of the first nice Friday nights of the summer. Five railcars burst into flames on impact - at least six distinct explosions according to witnesses - and the whole historic city core, some 30 to 40 buildings including, to my especial chagrin the town's library and archives, was essentially incinerated. 

It's now close to two days later and the fire is still not completely out. At one point a one kilometre area was evacuated; now it's down to 500 metres. Almost 2000 people - in a town of only 6000 - were forced from their homes ... if they were fortunate enough not to be in the ones that were burnt, that is. Firefighters from as far away as Sherbrooke and Maine were called in, and are still there, dousing the few undamaged cars to prevent any more mayhem. 

There's more than enough tragedy already, of course. Five bodies have been recovered, but there are 40+ people still unaccounted for and rescuers can't even get close to the centre of the crash to begin searching for them. It's still too hot; it's still too dangerous. And actually, there might not be much left to find; it's possible people were pretty much vaporised and never will be recovered. The Musi-Café club where it seems most would have been was a mere 30 metres from the tracks. 

It's an utterly horrible, surreal situation. There is just so much wrong you don't know where to begin. Why are trains left alone in driver changes at all? They're not locked up in a secure freight yard, but pretty much isolated in about as close to the middle of nowhere as you get. Anybody with nefarious ideas could do anything (although as of now there is nothing pointing to a criminal act). Why are trains with old cars carrying dangerous cargo on old (I heard 1903) tracks with too steep grades passing directly through towns? Why was crude oil apparently from North Dakota - in the U.S. - bound for Maine - in the U.S. - passing through Canada at all? Why did it take a full day to get firefighting foam and equipment (and only then courtesy of Ultramar, it seems) to the scene? It is pretty far from, well, everywhere, but still, shouldn't the province be a bit better prepared? 

I've felt pretty upset over the whole situation. It's so easy to imagine it happening in any one of dozens of small towns I've seen built along the railway lines ... or just up the street. We're only 300 metres or so from tracks where hazardous materials pass; maybe even the very same train went by! And of course tragedies do happen in many places, but this one feels so personal. This is my home province. This is a little town like I've passed through all my life. These are ordinary people like I see every day - and whose lives will not feel "ordinary" for a very long time ... if ever. 

[Above is my "favourite" - though it doesn't feel right to call it that; perhaps "most impactful" would be better - image from the disaster. I'm sure even Jesus would be weeping at the devastation, and my only hope is that He will also be able to comfort the people whose grief must be pretty much inconsolable right now.]

Standing Up for Computing

Yesterday I got inspired. I had read a Lifehacker article about a standing desk you could make for around 25$. But, cheapskate - oops, I mean thrifty person - that I am, even that was too much, particularly for something I wasn't exactly sure I'd like. And so I got creative. 

The photo shows my result. All made with things I had hanging around, yet all pretty much according to specifications. The monitor (on a wooden footstool turned endwise) was adjusted so my gaze was in its top third, the keyboard/mouse shelf (set on a cardboard box) was just slightly below my elbow height, and I was standing on a gel mat borrowed from the kitchen. 

Everything was just as it should be ... except for me. I didn't like it. In fact, I can't imagine spending more than a short time at it. I know all the facts about how it is infinitely better for your health, but it certainly wouldn't do much for my mood! I might not get the neck pain I'm so often subject to when I over-compute, but I think I'd still have the shoulder pain from mousing. And I'd have leg pain added to it.  I don't sit still a whole lot during the day, so computer time (which isn't even a daily occurrence, and is very seldom more than 60-90 minutes at a stretch - if that) is actually rest time for me in a way. I go for at least two and often three walks daily and do almost all the housework. Maybe that's enough. 

It isn't like I really have the ideal solution currently, of course. The quest for comfortable computing is unending. I've tried a wide variety of chairs and keyboard/mouse arrangements. What I use now is a dining room chair (a tad low, but functional) with the keyboard and monitor (unfortunately a tad high) on the desk, and my mouse on a mousepad tucked in my drawer (surprisingly, just about ideal). It's still a work in progress and I still have to avoid over-computing or I'll pay for it physically, but it does the job. (And if I'm using the laptop on its own, the dining room table and chairs aren't bad at all.)

So, in the end it seems I won't be building my own standing desk. I wouldn't really like it, and it's somewhat dubious if I really need it. I did have fun being creative without spending a penny though. It's nice to have a house full of odds and ends that you can experiment with (and no supplies were harmed in the making of my project, except possibly for the cardboard box which sustained a small hole!) And ultimately, like most people - and like I recently wrote - I'll be using my iPad more anyway. I love the way you look down at the screen; it's so comfortable. I can't type as fast - or as accurately - but I'm getting better all the time and, just as importantly, I generally enjoy it. So I think I'll just keep on sitting to compute and leave the standing for other times and places in my life. 

Musing on Tattoos

Tattoos are a modern phenomenon which I must admit I just don't get. I remember not that many years ago when tattoos - at least on women - were commonly referred to as "tramp stamps". And male or female, those who had them were considered somehow rougher, lower class, less respectable, more disreputable. Lately, though, they've gone mainstream - at least with the 40's and below crowd. I have family and friends - very decent, respectable people - with them. It certainly isn't a class issue anymore either. When we were on vacation in Mexico I was thoroughly surprised to see just how prevalent they were among people - most of whom I assume didn't book their trips from selloffvacations.com and were probably quite affluent.

I still don't understand it though. There are women with tattoos who would die before wearing the same outfit two days in a row and who would never even dream of wearing last year's fashions. Yet they've committed to the exact same body decor for virtually the rest of their lives. They'll have earrings and bags and shoes for every different occasion and outfit, but their tattoos will never change (except possibly getting saggy and misshapen as they age ... which is definitely not a pretty sight). Inevitably the design and colours won't go with everything; inevitably people's interests and tastes will change. Still they get them in droves. Larger and more flamboyant (and, in my opinion, uglier) all the time. Temporary, stick-on tattoos like kids enjoy, or henna tattoos that wear off over time would make sense to me as just another fun fashion accessory, but permanent? Not really.

So I suppose it's pretty obvious that I won't be getting a tattoo in the near future ... or ever. I'm actually still regretting even having my ears pierced. The holes have long since grown over, but the slight indentations remain. I like my body to be pristine and natural and unadorned as much as possible, just the way it was made. I'm not big on makeup or jewellery either - a simple pendant necklace is about it for me. Fitting, I guess, for a pretty simple person who will never get particularly excited about style and fashion - and certainly not about tattoos.

Computer Antipathy

Know something? I am starting to rather dislike computers sometimes. Aside from the fact that I almost always end up with a sore neck after using one, they just don't hold the same appeal to me that they once did. Except for a few specific tasks, I'd far rather use my iPad.

I say this after spending a good part of the day helping DH set up VST's on his DAW. (Don't worry if you don't know what that means; I wish I didn't either! But basically, it's getting plugins to play nicely with his music software.) Trouble is, so much time is spent installing and tweaking and learning the programs - and so little spent actually writing and composing and creating. It's frustrating for all concerned.

Now computers and software are indubitably easier and more user-friendly for the average person than they first were. I remember having to write DOS commands to accomplish almost anything. I even had little preschoolers painstakingly copy the path to start Kidpix! But with greater power there still inevitably comes a certain level of complexity. It doesn't take too much effort to check email or the weather these days; but it does still require a considerable degree of technical smarts to master Photoshop ... or Sonar X2 Producer Edition.

I also wonder how much the average person really needs a full-fledged computer now. More than anything I use mine for downloading and storing files - my photos, books, magazines, music, movies. Almost everything else - including photo editing - can be done quite nicely, and sometimes better and more easily, on my beloved Pearl. Occasionally I will want a big screen for a Photoshop project, or I'll make a card or want to work on a longer, more complex document or spreadsheet, but in general I've become quite proficient at typing on my tablet too. In fact, on the computer I miss handy little shortcuts to things like accents or being able to double tap to automatically create a period and a space.

In my opinion the days of the old-fashioned computer are dwindling away. I certainly don't see myself upgrading to a newer one for a long time, except in the event of a catastrophic failure. I'd be far more likely to choose a newer, faster tablet (perhaps with a better camera and maybe even a slightly larger screen) first. And I'm not alone. Sales of traditional desktops and even laptops are down; tablets are already in the hands of a third of Americans. That's a good thing, I believe; finally technology is getting more and more accessible to the average, really quite non-technical, person.

I Did Like Downton Abbey ...

I did like Downton Abbey. In fact I have been a devoted fan since its 2011 debut. For three seasons now, I have been following the lives of the stately home's inhabitants both upstairs and down. We've passed through the last halcyon days of the all too brief Edwardian era, the sinking of the Titanic, World War One and the Spanish Flu. Two weeks ago, though, was almost more than I could bear. Youngest daughter, Sybil, died of eclampsia hours after giving birth to her first child.

Sadly, I suppose that was the reality of life in the early part of the twentieth century - not to mention all of history up to that point. And actually women still die of that particular condition, though fortunately childbirth is infinitely safer in most ways. It was hard to see, though, and hard to accept. Of the three daughters, Sybil was my favourite. She was a sweet character, somehow the most human. She, more than any other, crossed the boundaries between the classes. She cared about the conditions of all people and ultimately ended up marrying the family chauffeur.

Tragedy isn't over for the family either. While I was reading a few news articles about Sybil's death, I unfortunately stumbled across a spoiler from the season's final episode. (The series airs in Britain in the fall.) And there will be yet another death of yet another major - and likeable - main character. I haven't told Dan about it (and I'm not going to write it here), but I'm not looking forward to it. It puts quite a damper on my enthusiasm for the show. Yes, I do know it's all fiction (and that the actors portraying these particular characters were eager to move on to other things). Still, as one immersed in the show's world, I certainly do feel sorry for the family. It seems more than anybody should really have to bear. And alongside all the personal tragedies they are also having financial difficulties due to Lord Grantham's misguided investments of (the last of) his American wife's fortune.

Now the Grantham family is, of course, fictional. But the magic of the series is the way it is recreating so exceptionally well, the lives of the day and the substantial societal changes that occurred during a relatively short period. Two world wars alone are plenty, but you add in a depressed economy, women's suffrage, and the fight for greater equality in general and it was a hard time to be an aristocrat. Already many had married American heiresses to bolster their estates, but with increasing taxes it was still a challenge to survive, particularly when they had appearances to maintain, staff to support - and no real career to fall back on. Change is hard for most people and it must truly have felt as if the world they had known was crumbling before their very eyes.

And I suppose that's what will keep me coming back and will have me glued to the set for two hours later this evening. All the characters are so well portrayed that you do care immensely about their lives and do want to see how things turn out for them. Tonight, in a relatively rare bright spot this season, a falsely-imprisoned valet, Bates, will return home to his beloved ladies' maid wife, Anna. I want to see what happens to sweet kitchen maid Daisy who married William the footman who adored her ... shortly before succumbing to his war injuries. Or Ethel, the "fallen" cook, given a second chance by the Crawley family after giving up her son. Will Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes' friendship ever amount to anything more? What type of trouble will Thomas and O'Brian stir up? And what about middle sister Edith, jilted at the altar by an older man - one of the few eligible men in the community thanks to the war? Just in her mid-twenties, is she already doomed to life as a spinster? How will Sybil's husband Tom make it in the new world of high society when he's really just an Irish boy at heart. What will life be like for baby Sybil? Will Lord Grantham be able to save his estate for future generations by managing it more efficiently? So many questions ... so many reasons to keep watching the exquisite series that is Downton Abbey.

And I Like Anne Murray Too

As long as I'm in the musical confessions mode, I might as well also admit that one of my all time favourites is Anne Murray. I've always been aware of her, of course (and it feels as if I've heard "Snowbird" - admittedly not my favourite - so often it could practically be a second Canadian anthem). But I wasn't a genuine fan as a child or teenager. She sort of grew on me as I grew. I really appreciate her mellow, soothing voice and two of my all time most listened to cd's are her inspirational "What a Wonderful World" and her more recent "Duets".

Other favourites? Well, Celine Dion was for a very long time, although she's fallen a bit out of my favour of late. I find her a bit strident sometimes now. I loved The Rankin Family. I quite like k.d. Lang. I liked Charlotte Church, although she's pretty much disappeared off the radar. I really enjoyed Air Supply - at least their classic songs; I'm not crazy about their last few albums. I like Josh Groban, Il Divo and The Canadian Tenors. I love most musicals too, whether from movies or Broadway.

I suppose those are all pretty unconventional - or just plain boring depending on your point of view - choices. Dan calls my music "mobic" or "shlop". I call it relaxing and pleasant and happy. Definitely very easy listening - no stress, no discord. Music is one of those things we never can or will agree on. We don't even have an "our song" ... and chances of our ever finding one seem to be slim. Still, I like what I like and if it makes me happy then I don't see a problem with it. Music is so personal; you can't ever say someone's preferences are wrong. That being said, however, I'll admit I don't understand how Dan - and millions more, apparently - can possibly enjoy the raucous tones of something like the Led Zeppelin he listened to for hours yesterday. Or worse things like The Rolling Stones. (Although there is usually a song or two from even the groups I hate that I don't find too unbearable.) And I will never get hip hop or rap so long as I live - especially when they have violent or degrading lyrics. Such a sad thing for impressionable ears and minds to be absorbing. Gee, I do sound about eighty! Guess I am the ideal Lawrence Welk audience. But somewhere out in this wide world there have to be other people with such ... unique ... musical tastes as me. Don't there? ...

Lawrence Welk, Anyone?

I can't, as Dan swears, be the only person under eighty who enjoys "The Lawrence Welk Show". Or under fifty, for that matter. In fact, I enjoyed it as a child, teenager, and twenty-something too. Since we didn't have cable when the show's run ended in the early eighties, I saw the odd first-run episode (when our antenna worked or the air was right) ... and have happily enjoyed it in syndication ever since.

"Wholesome" may not be cool, but it certainly is pleasurable. I really like a show where you hear old-fashioned songs (most of which I know, thanks to old-fashioned parents). It's a cozy, comfortable feeling knowing you aren't going to see or hear anything rude or ugly or risqué. It's just good, simple fun. And the performers definitely aren't lacking in talent. The band is top-notch. The dancers are fantastic - if not in the latest style. (But I don't know if the dancers of today could do what they do on the show either). And the singers have truly lovely voices. And absolutely everybody looks so nice and, well, (here's that word again; I think it gets a bad rap because there's absolutely nothing wrong with it) wholesome.

So I will happily spend Saturday evening curled up on the sofa listening to the melodious tones of Lawrence Welk's music ... until I really am eighty if they want to keep running it that long. Tonight was particularly good: Broadway musical songs and dances, including things like "Wunderbar", "On the Street Where You Live", "Sunrise, Sunset" and "To Dream the Impossible Dream". I love singing along - or attempting to dance along too. It just makes me happy. There really can't be anything wrong with such a simple pleasure. I agree it's not to everybody's (aka Dan's) taste ... but I also somehow think if everybody did enjoy a show like Lawrence Welk's that the world would be just a little bit nicer place.

Reading Goals

Wow ... and I thought my goal of 150 books in a year was ambitious! But yesterday I read a Slate article by Jeff Ryan. His 2012 goal was 366 books - and he achieved it. Sort of. That total did include (according to one estimate I saw) 122 full-length comics/graphic novels, as well as an unspecified number of audio books.

And I take issue with the audio books in particular. Not the format itself, per se, just the inclusion of them as books read. Different people have different learning styles, and some people may absorb more from the audio version of a book than from struggling through the print form. Personally, I'm not the best listener to begin with, and I find audio books painfully slow when I could get through well over 600 words a minute on my own. But most of all, by definition, "reading" is looking at (or feeling, if you're blind) and interpreting printed characters. Hearing an audio version of a books is listening - NOT reading. The characters are already decoded and, to an extent (by vocal tone), also interpreted for you. I won't say it's a wrong way to consume a book ... but I am adamant that it is not reading.

Graphic novels/comics is a bit greyer area for me. To be honest, my own grand total of 158 books last year included a dozen or so children's books ... and two full-length comics: an Archie novella and a Dennis the Menace collection. (Naturally I didn't include any short comic books; neither would I ever include any magazines although I can easily spend multiple hours on some.) At least graphic books are still books and you are still reading. They're certainly not high literature, but there's nothing wrong with a little fluff and pure enjoyment in your reading diet either. I guess it comes down to an issue of guilt, actually; I feel I should have spent at least a minimal amount of time on a book for it to really "count" or be significant and worthy of inclusion in such a list. Unfortunately on Goodreads there is no way of adding a book to your record but not including it in the reading challenge total. My own solution for this year is to set a substantially lower goal - somewhere between 75 and 100 books - and to just know within myself that, if I do exceed it, there were likely some shorter volumes padding the numbers but I at least read a minimal number of "real" books - ones 100 pages plus at the very least.

And I would surmise that, excluding the comics and audio books, that's probably somewhere in the neighbourhood of what Jeff Ryan actually read last year too. After all, like most people he does have a life with a job and family he can't neglect. The biggest asset I see in the whole reading goal setting process isn't the end number anyway. It's the fact that you are prioritising reading, saying you want to make it a significant part of your life and committing to do it on a regular basis. Ryan gave up listening to music and playing video games, as well as severely limiting his movie/TV viewing. It's all about choices, and he deliberately chose to make reading an important activity. Whether he read 100 or 300 books by year's end is almost irrelevant. The choice to read more is what matters, and it's a choice most people could benefit from making as well.

Why Not ... Make a Resolution or Two?

Well, I'm not off to the best of starts: it's late, and I'm a bit tired and grumpy (I actually stayed awake until midnight last night to welcome 2013 in). Still, finally I'm taking a little time to sit down at my laptop and do what I wanted to do all day: write down my year's plans.

My theme (so far, at least) is Why Not?

That's as in:

• why not ... do it
• why not ... use it
• why not ... try it
• even why not (gasp!) ... spend it

In the past I've postponed too much, put things aside for later too much, worried too much, sacrificed too much. Now it's time to perhaps not be quite as cautious, to perhaps live a little bit more, use the things I have, do what I want to do - just enjoy life as it is in the moment instead of always waiting for another day.

There are a few other things too, broken down roughly into the following categories:

Physical

• Get a checkup. It's been quite a few years now and though I think I'm fairly healthy, it would be good to make sure I stay that way.
• Also keep up with Pilates class (at least in winter) and do other exercises too - anything from Wii to skiing to biking; my cardiovascular system could use the challenge.

Intellectual

• Write SOMETHING daily - whether a lengthy blog or a tiny haiku or even an email.
• Read more and read less. Not as contradictory as it sounds. I want to read more of the things I truly enjoy - books - and less of the stuff that fills time and may even be interesting, but ultimately isn't as enriching - things like articles on Zite, magazines, and internet browsing results.
• Use my iPad less. Yes, that's right, less. I'm getting too addicted to acquiring apps and I'm not really enjoying and using what I have. I'll check key sites for bargains, but try to get rid of the fluff and focus on my two main joys of the iPad: photography and writing. Rarely anything more.

Social

I am not a very social person. I'm sociable - I love chatting with people on walks, for example - but also fiercely cherish my privacy. However, I think I'm a tad too private - or at least I don't make much effort to be any less private. So I want to keep in touch with others a bit better.

• My goals here are to check my email every weekday, to catch up with the people I've neglected electronically, and to do at least a little posting on Facebook and Flickr.

Spiritual/Emotional

• Here I want to continue the daily readings as I've been doing for over a year already. They're very worthwhile and are gradually helping me to become a happier person.
• I also want to really focus on being positive, hopeful, and optimistic (quite the challenge for me). On my trip I finally felt what it's like to have good things happen and really started to believe that God actually wants me to be happy and to have good things happening in my life. I need to be open to that and to turn away from worries and fears and grudges and petty concerns. It's time to believe I'm meant to have a good life, full of blessings and abundance.

So those are my 2013 objectives. Hopefully, if I keep my mind on them it will be a very good year indeed. I'm certain it can be. After all ... why not?

This Time Next Week ...

This time next week I will not be here. This time next week I will be in Cancun, Mexico!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it does merit ten exclamation marks. It will be the first time EVER that I fly. It will be the first time ever I go somewhere warm in winter. It will be the first time ever I swim in warm water. Am I excited? Just a tad!!!!!!!!!!

There are so many things I'm looking forward to I don't even know where to begin. First off is floating down a lazy river in an inner tube. There is all that food. There are places to walk, snorkelling in a coral reef, swimming in a variety of pools, evening shows, seeing little lizards, hanging out in a balcony hammock - virtually every single thing will be new to me. I can barely sleep thinking about it all!

Of course I do have a week to live through first. There's still plenty of basement cleaning. There's packing (yes!). Plus housecleaning, on the down side.

There's that flight too. I'm not sure how I feel about flying. The rational part of me knows it's safer than driving. There's another part of me, though, that would be happier staying on terra firma. Not having wings, I would have been contented to pass my life without ever having flown. Millions of people do it every day without a thought ... but I'm sure I'll have quite a few thoughts when I'm on board. And probably not all of them will be good ones.

I also wonder how I'll fill my days with no dogs to walk, no chores to do, no dinners to prepare. I don't imagine it will take too long to get used to that, though. What might take a little longer is having no Internet. My beloved Pearl will be staying safely at home. It's been a long time since I've gone even a couple of days - let alone a week - sans connection to the wider world. I think it could be really good for me, though, maybe bring me back a little closer to who I really am. Anyway, I'll find everything out starting in just six and a half days. YES !!!!!!!!!!