Darn!

I darned a sock (Paisley puppy's latest conquest) this morning. Yesterday I was absolutely livid with her. I almost never buy myself new socks, certainly not expensive ones, but this pair had been a special treat to keep my feet warm on winter walks. I had only worn them two days before they were so ruthlessly attacked! I haven't had a lot of sympathy when Paisley chomped on Dan's socks because he always leaves them on the floor, but mine were hung up over the kitchen heater, tied on with elastics (one of which she ate too - saw the evidence this morning). What a monkey face!

Anyway, today I tried a salvage operation. It isn't especially pretty. My mom could definitely have done much better. Fifty or a hundred years ago the average ten-year old could probably have done better. Still, my sock has a fully functional - if not elegant - toe and cuff once more, and my toes were quite toasty on my long morning stroll. 

And the whole experience was actually surprisingly satisfying. We have so little opportunity these days to do creative, tactile type things. Experiences like sewing, knitting and crocheting that were once part of everyday life are crafts and hobbies you might indulge in if you have lots of spare time. With the exception of the odd artisan, they're certainly not regular activities. Nowadays it's much cheaper (and far less time consuming) to buy pretty much everything pre-made and to just toss it and buy another when something gets damaged. Sort of sad, really, because it does give you a genuine sense of accomplishment when you fix something. (I felt the same way the other day when I got a wobbly coat rack to stand upright once more.)

I certainly hope Paisley doesn't make a habit of noshing on socks - or anything else that doesn't belong to her. But it is nice to know that all is not necessarily lost if she does. It's nice to know that I still have a little bit of ingenuity and industriousness left in me, and that I can competently take care of at least one tiny area of my life.

Football Prayer

I am decidedly not a football fan - not of Canadian football, and certainly not of the NFL. But an item on the news tonight did pique my interest. It was about Denver Bronco's quarterback Tim Tebow. Apparently he has been making waves. It's not only for leading his team on a winning streak and the fact that he was a mediocre player never expected to make it in pro football. It's because, in a milieu where people are rich in money and poor in values, he is a devout Christian and not afraid to show it. He prays publicly (so much so that people mimicking his standard pose are said to be “tebowing”) and paints references to Biblical verses under his eyes. He's more than a football player; he's a football prayer!

And I think that's awesome. Lately it doesn't seem to be very politically correct to be a Christian. We're supposed to be sensitive to and accommodating of every other religion but our own. So to see somebody being a role model to thousands (millions?) of kids - and adults - is wonderful. Most of us, myself included, are too shy to do much public professing of our faith; it's great to see someone who isn't.

Now of course I don't believe that God particularly cares about the outcome of a football game, but I do believe that He cares very much about Tim Tebow. And if he isn't praying to win, but rather to do his best and use the abilities he's been blessed with, then I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't think God will care much if the Bronco's go all the way to the Super Bowl either. But if even one person draws closer to Him because of Tim Tebow, that will be a far greater victory and a much better thing. Pro sports can be a pretty seedy and sordid world, so it's nice to see one person trying to make that world a little bit better. Who knows who he'll draw in through his actions. It even made a total football-hater like me interested!

I Survived "Nano"WriMo!

I DID IT!!!!! I successfully navigated the treacherous waters of “Nano”WriMo and achieved my twofold goals: I wrote a blog entry every day and I wrote a poem every day. I am very proud of myself ... and now I can actually use the reward I bought a few weeks ago (a small Mouflon shoulder bag, just the right size for my wallet and a book).

So was it worthwhile becomes the next question. And I have to give an unequivocal yes in response. Not from a literary standpoint, but in other, equally important ways. From a literary perspective, the bulk of what I wrote is junk. Few of my blog entries were that insightful or well-thought out. (I never did achieve my sub-resolution of finishing up before dinner; too often the entries were late evening ramblings.) Most of my poems were just as bad ... but a few were surprisingly good, even to me. And they wouldn't have existed if I hadn't pushed myself daily, if I hadn't had that goal. So yes, it was definitely a worthwhile endeavour.

And even if every single blog entry and poem had been utter drivel, I would still have considered the month a rousing success. I have never been able to write consistently, but somehow having my goal (and accompanying reward) was a powerful motivator. I also really liked the “Habit Maker” app I used to track my progress. There was something extremely satisfying about clicking those green happy faces every evening. 

So will I be continuing on becomes the next question. Well, sort of. In an effort to put quality before quantity I've changed my goal somewhat. Instead of a forced poem and blog entry every day, my new goal is to write something meaningful daily. It could be a blog entry, a poem, an email to a friend - anything so long as I've actually put thought and effort into it. That way I can still keep producing but also focus on writing better. I'll report back at the end of the month on how I've done. (I don't know that I'll need any particular reward this time around, but I will still be clicking my happy face daily.) Hopefully by the end of the month I will have created a few more things to be proud of - and even if I haven't I will still be proud of my effort.

My Doggies are Home:)

Well, today is a substantially happier day. My puppies are home and all's right with my world (or at least that part of it). Their operations went just perfectly and I picked them up this morning - Hershey first, then I went back for Paisley since I didn't think it would be a good thing for her to be climbing all over him in the car. It's actually astonishing to me how quickly they seem to be recovering. Paisley's operation was more minor and, except for a few little licks at her scar (mainly out of curiosity, I think) she seems completely back to normal. Hershey's operations were more serious and he's a bit itchy and on painkillers for five days. But he too is amazing me. His appetite was bigger than usual, he was eager for his afternoon walk, he's up on the chair and sofa like always. Dogs really are quite remarkable creatures.

Now they say a body can get used to anything, and I suppose I could even get used to a life without dogs ... but I sure wouldn't want to. I think it would be a much narrower, more self-centred existence. It's good to have something outside yourself to care for and think of, and Willow, my fish, isn't quite enough. True, dogs tie you down a bit, but they give back infinitely more. I don't need fancy furniture or cars or vacations; the love I get daily from Hershey and Paisley is worth so much more to me. Just stroking their furry heads and hugging their warm bodies today made me feel so incredibly good. My doggies are definitely two of the very best parts of my life, and I hope I will always be blessed to share my life with dogs.

Dogless:(

This is a tough day for me. I am sitting here dogless and miserable while my two babies are at the vet having operations. I know it's the best thing for them. I know they're in good hands. But I still feel worried and bad. I don't want anything to go wrong and there's always a risk with surgery, no matter how minor. I don't want them to suffer and feel pain or fear either. 

The house feels so empty and dead without their presences. Even though they can be so quiet and still I'd hardly know they're around, I do. And it's so nice just knowing they are there. Even doing absolutely nothing, they are still the finest of company. It's also very good for me to have something to care for and to love; I need to be needed very badly in my life.

I will miss them even more tonight. Lying in bed with them this morning, I wanted to make the moment last forever. Hershey was curled between my tummy and thighs; Paisley was stretched long and warm up my back. It was about as close to a perfect feeling as I can have.  

Anyway, hopefully my entry tomorrow morning will be much different. Paisley for sure should be home; Hershey's recovery might take an extra day, but with luck he'll be here too. I am praying so hard that everything goes perfectly and that my furry family is one with me soon and, even better, that these operations will give them extra long, healthy and happy lives.

The Joy of Silence

Today Susan Schwartz had a column in The Gazette about the beauty and benefits of silence. In our modern world, it's a scarcer commodity than ever. We even have to use noise to mask other noises! Some people really can't handle silence well at all. It's too intimidating; it brings them too close to themselves, their thoughts and their feelings. 

Though Dan might refute it at times, I'm actually very appreciative of silence myself. If anything, especially lately, I've been surrounded by too much silence. I think I should probably be listening to more music, really. It's very uplifting and goodness knows I need that now. I should maybe be making more noise by singing along too (doing just that to a John Denver special on Saturday afternoon felt absolutely wonderful!)

As it is though, I give myself plenty of silence. I like to listen to the news and weather first thing in the morning with my breakfast. Then I will turn the radio off. I'll listen to the noon news and, if it's an interesting topic, some of the discussion afterwards, then off it goes again. If I happen to be driving, I may check out what's on, but if I don't like it I revert quite happily to silence. 

In the evening the tv goes on (or for the occasional weekend afternoon special, but otherwise I don't believe in watching tv during the day). There's Jeopardy and the occasional favourite show or a bit of news, but when I'm done with what I planned to see I quit watching. Sometimes Dan may have a game low in the background or be strumming on his guitar, but overall things are pretty quiet.

And my walks are absolutely sacred. Why on earth would I want to be plugged in when I could be soothed by the wind and the waves and the birds? 

Bedtime is usually quiet too. If I'm feeling particularly stressed I may put on a cd or listen to the Delilah show, but that's pretty rare. I find it can actually end up keeping me awake, and can also be jarring when it turns off. It doesn't give me quiet time to have a little chat with God either. More soothing is my little sound machine; I like to listen to stream sounds most often. That usually lulls me to sleep quite effectively.

All in all, I think my sound diet is pretty well balanced. I'm probably even a little underweight, sound-wise. Maybe it gives me a little too much time with my thoughts, but I still believe that's better than scarcely being acquainted with them. I think my life is better for the silences I enjoy, and that the world in general would benefit from a little more silence too.

Book Sale

This afternoon I went to the Friends of Stewart Hall book sale. Going to book sales has always been one of the highlights of my life. There are few things as satisfying as finding a treasure you always wanted - or one you never even knew existed. I must admit, though, that the lustre has been dimming over the last year or so. I have a wonderful home library with most of my true favourites. I'm also a member of two excellent public libraries where I can get most of the new releases I want to read. And finally, in addition to the thousands of physical books I own, I have hundreds more ebooks - again including many newer releases.

Therein lies the rub, I think. If I can get an ebook, do I really need a physical copy, particularly if it's a book I'm only likely to read once? My library has been expanded but still doesn't have limitless shelf space. It makes more sense to buy only things that I really loved or that I can't get online or at the library - and I'm not going to find many of those at book sales because they're either too new or too obscure.

I do like ebooks. I enjoy reading on the iPad - so much, in fact, that a dedicated e-reader will be under my Christmas tree this year. When you're into a story, the format doesn't matter much (although I must say that print books have the definite edge in my heart). But a part of me also really resents what ebooks are doing to print books. 

I've already written about the predicted demise of bookstores. It's more than that, though; eventually it will extend to print books period and even libraries.  I read an article about ebooks recently, in fact, saying how “real” books will pretty much be a thing of the past within a generation. Kids now are the last ones who will really even have known print books. Although a while back I did also read a much more optimistic article about a survey that showed kids still prefer to have a physical book in their hands to read. 

I don't like to even think about it ... but unfortunately I do see changes coming. I hope they're a lot slower and more gradual than some writers predict though. I hope I will always have the pleasure of browsing bookstores, libraries and book sales for real print books that I can hold on my lap and mark up and pile on my shelves. And I hope future generations will always know those joys too.

Happy Day

I was happy today. I say that with some incredulity because it's a rather rare occurrence for me. I often sit and wonder what it must be like to feel happy. I'll have vague recollections of what happiness is like, of having felt completely happy, but it's elusive. I won't quite be able to put my finger on the feeling. And then, unexpectedly, I felt it. And it was such a relief. I thought “wow, so this is how normal people feel; it's really nice!”

Now I want to figure out why, what did I do differently and can I replicate it? I've been taking more Omega-3's this week, as recommended in “The Depression Cure”. Did they just kick in? Ive been feeling closer to God lately; I'm sure He's helping me out. I kept busy, doing errands to the library, and several stores, but didn't overdo it. I got my Christmas shopping just about done (it's very satisfying to get exactly what you want and with good buys too). I exercised a good amount. I had the pleasure of seeing the dogs playing. I did some reading, had a brief rest, and watched some tv (the world tumbling and trampolining championships, “As Time Goes By” and “Keeping Up Appearances”). There was music in my life too courtesy of a John Denver special (I just love his singing!) and Dan playing guitar in the background. 

Everything seemed to work out right today: my timing was right, I wasn't ruining things by fretting and worrying; I was pretty much living in the moment, just enjoying where I was and what I was doing. Things just felt right and good. I wish I could bottle this feeling - or better still make a medicine I could take whenever necessary. It's so nice to know happiness can exist even for me. I only hope it isn't such a stranger in my life in the future as it has been in the past.

Black Friday

Wow, Black Friday really is black in at least some places in the U.S. I heard of two reports of pepper spray being used - one by a customer who wanted to get an x-box. There was at least one shooting. There were multiple fights. There were also reports of excessive violence by authorities trying to control unruly crowds. 

It all seems so uncivilised. I'm not a huge fan of Boxing Day either - or crowds in general - but it doesn't seem to descend quite so low. For starters, at least in Quebec, the stores don't even open until 1 pm. That's so much more sensible. You get to sleep in and have a restful morning. More importantly, the poor clerks get to enjoy a bit more of a holiday too. They work hardest of all on these types of days, but seem so overlooked. In the U.S. some stores opened at midnight - and people lined up from mid afternoon. (The only good thing is that it's a lot warmer than December 26th.) So the shop workers laboured right through the night. Some holiday for them!

And all that for what? To save a few dollars? Frankly, at this point I'd rather spend an extra few dollars and save the hassles. Maybe the sales are even bigger than I realize, though; we don't do spectacular discounts here very much. And I guess it could be kind of exciting and fun if you're not fighting mega-crowds in too big a city (I must admit that I do love a good bargain). Still I think I'll take Boxing Day over Black Friday. Or maybe a nice compromise on Cyber Monday, coming up next. And maybe eventually the only fighting people will be doing is over who gets to the keyboard and checks out their shopping cart first. Computers can work and clerks can stay home and everybody can enjoy a real holiday. 

Happy Thanksgiving

For the second day in a row, I was happy to be at home. Today was the American Thanksgiving and, while I think ours is at a more appropriate time (at least for our region), I must admit that Americans do Thanksgiving way better than Canadians.

It feels more like a real holiday there. For starters, you have a full four-day weekend. And besides just a big dinner, there are other celebrations and traditions surrounding the day - the whole weekend, really. It kicks off a whole month of celebrating, in fact - all the way to Christmas. There will be tv specials and extra sports games and of course tomorrow is Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Some Canadian stores are starting to try to emulate it, but so far the attempts are pretty pathetic. I looked through a bagful of flyers today and found even less worthwhile than in a typical week.

My favourite Thanksgiving tradition of all, however, has got to be the Macy's Parade. I was riveted to the screen all morning. (Canadians don't really do parades; the last decent one I saw was also American: the Rose Bowl Parade back in January.) Anyway, today started out with performances from a variety of Broadway musicals, which I just loved. I especially liked seeing Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) doing a number from “How to Succeed in Business”. He's smaller than I thought and his singing wasn't terribly impressive, but he's really learned how to dance! All the performances were awesome; the performers work so hard and always with smiles on their faces. I really liked the Rockettes a lot too.

Then it was on to the parade itself, the 85th edition! They had a good mix of older and newer floats and balloons featuring a variety of well-known characters. I always enjoy balloon favourites like Mickey Mouse and Kermit. My favourite float this year was Ocean Spray's woodland scene with a happy gang of cute critters. And of course, the parade has to finish with Santa (and Mrs. Claus') arrival.

Interspersed with the floats were more musical performances. They had individuals and smaller groups on the floats. I liked our own Avril Lavigne and also Neil Diamond. United We Stand, the U.S. Naval Academy Glee Club and Straight No Chaser were ok too. You could tell most everybody was lip synching though, although some were more obvious than others. 

Last but not least were various bands, dance groups and drill teams - pretty much all high school students. For many of them it is the highlight of their year and often their first trip to NYC. One band came 5000 miles from Hawaii! They are all so impressive and you can tell they work so hard. It really makes you feel positive about the future. They all look so confident too and mature; it's hard to believe the girls are only seventeen or eighteen - a lot of them look as if they're in their twenties or even thirties! Actually it makes me a little envious; I wonder if I could have been and done so much more with the right opportunities. And it looks as if they're all just having so much fun!

The whole parade is fun, though; the whole day (a dog show followed and tonight is a Charlie Brown special). It does wonders for my mood seeing people being positive and happy and enjoying life. I start to think maybe it is normal and possible and want to be that way too. Life certainly isn't perfect for many Americans, particularly right now, but they still pause and come together to be thankful for the blessings they do have and to enjoy the simpler things in life like family, friends and a nice dinner. And a good parade too, of course. You really have to admire their good attitude.  So Happy Thanksgiving to my American neighbours; may it be the start of an absolutely wonderful holiday season for us all.