Teflon, Not Velcro

It would be nice to be a Teflon person, the sort that slights and stresses roll right off, but sadly I'm far more Velcro. A veritable bur, in fact: the big prickly kind that clings doggedly to absolutely everything. Not only do I cling tenaciously at the time, but I remember, regret and ruminate over things for ages - not just days or weeks, but years.

That's unfortunate ... and it could be unhealthy too according to a study I read recently. David Almeida (a professor of human development and family studies) claims the daily stresses of ten years ago can negatively impact your health - both physical and mental - today! In particular, people who have experienced a lot of stress tend to also experience greater pain from arthritis and cardiovascular issues. That doesn't bode so well for my future.

To be fair, I have had far more than my share of stresses compared to the average person. But apparently it's not so much the stresses themselves as your reactions to them that cause the problems. Just thinking about a stressful event can be almost as bad as experiencing it! So by reliving negative things over and over, I'm piling on more and more stress all the time. Distance does help somewhat, but I can still get myself pretty upset over bad things. I know it. I can feel it in me. And even the "positive" stresses of new experiences and activities can be damaging to someone like that.

However, I don't think it's in my nature to suddenly grow a hardy Teflon shell. I've always taken things too seriously, too hard, as far as I know. My best bet to mitigate against my Velcro tendencies is to use all the coping strategies and mechanisms I can muster ... and I try to read all the articles on positive psychology, managing stress disorders etc. that I can find.

One recommendation is focussing on happy events, and I do keep a daily gratitude record (at least three good things per day). I also force myself to list my blessings in my head when I'm moping over something (the more negative I'm feeling, the longer the list has to be). Fresh air, exercise, and deep breathing are other standard prescriptions, and fortunately I get plenty of the first two - and work on the third when I remember.

And since I won't ever be a Teflon person, it's probably best I keep my life fairly simple and my stresses fairly manageable. I'm lucky in the sense that it doesn't take that much to make me happy or excited. Little things mean a lot to me; I don't need to put myself in overwhelming situations. You can't completely change your nature, but you can do things to work with it, and hopefully past (or current) stresses won't mess up my future too much. Still, it would be awfully nice if I could become at least a little more Teflon than Velcro!