Snow Day!

I guess I got Sunday's wish: today it snowed. There's always something magical about the year's first snow, sort of a Christmas morning type of feeling. Since I'm not working right now, I didn't have any of the usual apprehension over bad driving or parking either and was truly able to enjoy and appreciate it. The essential, unstressed, me adores winter and loves being able to curl up cozy inside or have the pleasure of walking in the new fallen snow, admiring its freshness and beauty.  (And I'm happy to report that my new boots are extremely comfy and warm.) 

This year was particularly special because it was Paisley's first time ever seeing snow! She was curious, but seems to have somewhat mixed emotions about it. At first she didn't even want to put her toes in it and was doing some high stepping. And immediately after piddling, she hid in her dog house. But then she came out and started sniffing and nipping at it. 

And she was actually pretty good about it on her walkies. She did lots of happy pouncing and bouncing. She is still skinny and definitely doesn't like the cold - she shivers, poor pet - but so long as she didn't stop for too long, she was just fine (although she seemed even more content curling up on the Lazyboy afterwards!) She doesn't appear to want to spend any more time outside than necessary, however; she doesn't even want to go down the stairs, though I shovelled them off nicely for her.

Hershey is much more of a snow dog, but it was sticky snow, so he was hampered by snowballs clinging to his legs. By the end of our walks he was practically waddling! You can't pull them off either; you pretty much have to wait for him to defrost.

Anyway, there is lots of winter yet to come (although not in the next few weeks; by Friday it will be back up to +9). So I'm sure both Hershey and Paisley will be having many more snow days bouncing happily through the fluff.

Rumination Two

Today is just going to be a few addenda to yesterday's rumination about, well, rumination. 

First off, I'll add two more suggestions:

11. USE THE COMPUTER. Nothing socially demanding like email or Facebook, but browsing to check if there are any interesting new books or magazines to download is ok. Very occasionally a non-stressful game for a brief time (otherwise I feel like I've wasted time). And, my gold standard: a visit to Cute Overload or LOL Dogs.

12. PLAYING WITH DOGGIES. Not just a casual toy toss, but down on the floor, rolling around on my back, completely engrossing play. 

Being engrossed in whatever I've chosen really is the key. So long as I'm super busy and structured (remember those daily goal lists!) I do reasonably well. Even with the best of intentions, though, I still lapse badly. 

So now for another tack, since all my previous suggestions might not be enough. When bad thoughts are going around and around and around in my head, I need words to replace them with - and fast. Here are my top three solutions:

A. “Breathe deep. Seek peace.” (That's from the Dinotopia books. Simple and straight to the point.)

B. “Ease the pounding of my heart by quieting my mind.” (From a poem about slowing down.)

C. “Bless me and grant me great increase. Be with me and bear* all my burdens. Keep me and all I love from harm and evil.” (That's my loose adaptation of the prayer of Jabez. I'm just not quite sure whether I should be asking God to bear my burdens or for Him to help me bear them. To ask Him to do it seems presumptuous ... but sometimes I feel that's what I need. I guess I'll just have to trust that He understands and will do what's best.)

Rumination Busting

Yesterday I started reading “The Depression Cure” by Stephen S. Ilardi. I think I'm more stressed and anxious than depressed, but nonetheless I'm hoping some of the suggestions might be relevant. Today I read the chapter on rumination, which is probably my biggest downfall. Along with offering some ideas for dealing with it, he advised brainstorming your own list of techniques. So here are my top 10 ways to keep my mind occupied:

1. WII. Something active and engrossing like a dancing game, sports game or Exerbeat. Nothing too laid back like Endless Ocean or that might make me frustrated like Mario Kart.

2. WALKING. Not just a regular walk with the dogs where I'm frustrated by Paisley's pokiness or too many sniffing stops. Ideally alone (or with only Hershey; maybe that will change later) so I can go at a good pace, and in a new neighbourhood with different houses to look at. (Early evenings when lights are on but curtains are still open are great - I love peeking in and seeing how places are furnished!)

3. BIKING. Especially if I have a destination like the library or even the grocery store.

4. SHOPPING. (Window shopping is fine, but 10-20$ to spend would be nice too.) At a different mall with stores I don't usually see or go into. 

5. FOOD. A little food treat (ice cream or a smoothie in summer, hot chocolate or soup in winter) would be an added bonus to a shopping trip or a bike ride. At home there's always my tea ritual. 

6. BAKING. Following a recipe really focuses your mind plus you get to eat the results! Unfortunately there's a limit to how much Dan and I can eat too, so I can't do this every day.

7. READING. An familiar old favourite like Betsy-Tacy, or maybe a new book I've been saving and really looking forward to.

8. HOUSECLEANING. Not as much fun as baking, but useful too. Vacuuming is odious but engrossing. And if I listen to music while dusting, it goes a lot better. Which brings us to ...

9. MUSIC. Listening to, singing along with, and/or dancing to. I think it's important to be comfortable with silence, but maybe I've been having a little too much lately. Belting out tunes along with old favourites like “The Partridge Family” is always fun.

10. RADIO. Music (see #8) or talk radio if there's a topic of interest. Even better if I can then formulate my own opinion on the subject and turn it into a blog/journal entry. 

New Boots:)

I live in Quebec thus, although it has yet to put in an appearance, winter is inevitable. So I was delighted today to find a new pair of winter boots on sale at Sears. I hadn't even gone footwear shopping - I was looking (fruitlessly, it turned out) for sheets and sweaters. But I passed through the shoe department and there they were: Kodiak's, 40% off, waterproof to the top of the ankles at least, warm to -50, and as good looking (nicer even, I think) as the 300$+ Uggs I'd been eyeing wistfully of late. They're tall and open wide to lace up easily over all types of pants. They're not shearling lined, but they do have a tasteful gray faux-fur trim around the tops. I tried them on - miraculously they had my size (7) and my colour (black) - and they fit as if they had been made just for me, which is also rather miraculous.

72$ isn't nothing either, of course, so I did think twice. But then I decided I deserved them. Interestingly, I'd just read an article today from psychcentral.com talking about how “what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while”. The things you do (or want to do) regularly, that mean the most to you and are a part of your essential self - those are where you should be concentrating your time, efforts, and, yes, money too. I walk every day - long walks and through snow (often deep) in winter. Having boots that keep me cozy, warm and dry are pretty important and I know I'll be using and enjoying them a lot.
Similarly, I'm saving up for the iPad 3; it's something I use daily and I will truly appreciate more speed and storage in the next version. And naturally there's always room in my budget for another book or two! But eating out? Not really interested and don't enjoy it nearly enough for it to be worth the money. Not crazy about much travel either; I'd rather invest in the house I live in 99+% of the year. No desire for a new car either; as long as mine goes reliably from Point A to Point B, that's more than good enough.
It really does pay to know yourself; I'm so glad I made the right decision and I'm so looking forward to wearing my new boots. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Not a Facebook Fan

I was musing with Dan tonight about the future of Facebook, mulling over when the fad might fade. People are notoriously fickle. Today's biggest thing is tomorrow's has-been. Though I can't imagine what the alternative might be, I also can't conceive of Facebook being the primary social vehicle twenty - or ten or even five - years from now.

And now I have a confession to make: technophile though I am, I do not like Facebook. I'll think I plan to use it more - I know it's a great tool in theory - but I really never do. For starters, I'm just not that social a person. I don't feel the need to share every aspect of my life with hundreds of my “closest” friends. I don't want to share my life period, actually; I like my privacy. I don't want to waste my time with silly games or with getting caught up in the trivialities of other people's lives either.

For some people, Facebook is wonderful. If their families are scattered around the world, if they're confined to home due to health issues, if they want to be in contact with people sharing a particular challenge like a rare disease. But that's not me. I still prefer real-life face-to-face contact, or even good “old-fashioned” email. Maybe if I were a sixteen year old girl again ... but I'm not that either.

And not all sixteen year olds are Facebook fans either. It's not so easy growing up online, particularly if you're not one of the popular clique. I've met kids who don't like it, who feel overwhelmed having to keep up with all the social media. They have to write on walls, read comments, tweet, or they feel they'll be left out and left behind. And that's without even touching painful issues like cyber-bullying or cyber-stalking. For a self-conscious teen, even having an unflattering picture posted on a friend's page can be traumatic.

Facebook has its time and place and people it's best suited for. I'm just not one of them.

Puppy Problems

First off, I adore Paisley. She's probably the nicest puppy I've even had. She has yet to meet one dog or one person that she disliked. She just goes up to them all politely, tail gently wagging, ears curled at the tips like the Flying Nun. She's pretty much housebroken (although you have to be quick enough to read her signs; she doesn't give a lot of warning). And, though she still has a fondness for the delicacy of carpet under-padding, her chewing is on the wane too.

There's just one teeny problem that's really trying my patience: she doesn't like to walk! Now I ask you, what sort of dog doesn't enjoy walkies? I've certainly never had one. But she is just so sensitive and so alert that everything overwhelms her. Sometimes she can only go a few steps before she has to stop and sit and adjust to the world again.

She has shown some improvement; last week we had a few good days but this week she's regressed again. Mornings by the lake are best; she seems really happy then. Afternoons are so-so and involve more coaxing and dragging. Evenings are pretty much pointless. I'm frustrated and she's not at all happy either. I rarely take her then; we're both happier if just Hershey and I go. And today I found we can add cold weather to the list of things she doesn't like. She sits and shivers and looks utterly miserable.

Of course she is pretty small and skinny yet ... and pretty young too. Still only four and a half months. But she's lived here for two and a half of those months. She should know the neighbourhood by now. Yet she still acts almost as scared on some streets as if it were day one, though she's walked them dozens of times. People reassure me that puppies don't like walking at first. I just wonder when they do start. I try so hard to be patient and encouraging, to make her feel more secure and confident. I chatter away cheerfully to her, and when she's walking well I praise her almost non-stop. Though I'd still adore her, I'd be pretty disappointed to end up with a puppy that didn't want to walk with me. So I really hope Paisley has a walking breakthrough soon.

Worried About Worry

I have a new thing to worry about: worrying! Until yesterday, I never thought of it as a sin. I know it can be futile, counter-productive, even destructive to your health, but I didn't consider it especially “wrong” in any way. Then I happened to read a devotional declaring that it is. I checked with the gospel of Google today (and by the time I'd entered “is worrying” it had already auto-completed with “a sin” so I can't be the only one curious about the issue). The general consensus? Yes, it is.

Now I like to think of myself as basically a good person - or one who tries to be, anyway - but if worrying really is a sin, then I'm guilty big time. Worrying is fear, though, and not trusting God enough, having faith that He will take care of you. So I can see the rationale. Like the birds of the air and the lilies of the field (Matthew 6:26 & 28) we should simply trust that our needs will be met. And I really would like to but ...

It's so much easier said than done. From the beginning worrying has also helped people survive. We've had to be ready at an instant for “fight or flight”. (And frankly I've seen plenty of birds worry too - particularly if a cat's in the neighbourhood.) It's genetic. Depending on the environment you were raised in, it can be learned as well. I'm sure God understands that and empathises with us.

Worry can even have advantages if you use it productively and take positive steps to address your worries. If concerns about health make you eat better and exercise more, that's a good thing. If worries about job prospects make you study harder, it's a good motivator. And if worrying about your retirement years makes you save more and live within your means that's good too. It's the worries that are irrational and taken to extremes that are dangerous and that are the really sinful ones I think.

For people like me who are predisposed to worrying, though, the battle to rein it in is tough. Just like someone who's predisposed to heart disease or alcoholism, I need to find ways to deal with my weakness. Intellectually, I know plenty already: exercise, adequate sleep, good diet, deep breathing, meditation, listening to relaxing music/sound effects, having a pet, being involved in things outside yourself, socialising, thinking about all the blessings you have to be grateful for - and, of course, prayer itself.

So many prayers have worry behind them (I wonder if it's the majority?) - worry someone won't get better, worries about jobs or finances; in our modern, fast-paced, materialistic world it feels there's more than ever to worry about. It's so, so hard not to. Worry isn't always rational either, and emotions are hard to control. And you worry precisely because you don't feel in control. Of course, that's especially when you should pray and give up your cares to someone who is.

At least I do see that I have a problem - a big one that's ruining my quality of life. Whether I can deal with it successfully is another question. Certainly not on my own. It's as if all the stresses I've had in my life have accumulated and now even small things overwhelm me. I really, really need help managing my worries. Guess I'd better get praying!

Exercise Redux

I am not having a good day. I am worried, stressed and depressed. Which brings me to another reason why I exercise. It's not just about “building up my heart and lungs”; it's as much or more about saving my sanity ... maybe even my life.

Recently I read a “Psychology Today” article where a doctor said that when patients call him in distress he tells them to go out for a 25-minute walk and, if they still feel as badly afterwards, to call him back. Allegedly, in all his years of practicing, he's never gotten that second call.

So these days I'm literally walking for my life. I'm very fortunate and grateful to live in a place where I can walk by the water and hear the waves. I'm also lucky to have two doggies eager to accompany me and to insist I get out even if I don't quite feel like it. They're so motivating, and it's so good for me. Sometimes I'm pretty lost in my problems and don't even feel I'm noticing all the beauty around me. But somehow I think it's still sinking into my soul, calming me at least a little, at least on some level. I'm at least a tiny bit better when I get back.

I know stress is bad for you - really bad. Probably as bad as smoking or overeating or excessive drinking. And I don't cope well with it. But if I didn't have my long walks by the lake, I don't think I'd be coping at all. Exercise might not cure me, but hopefully it will keep me from deteriorating. So I aim to keep on walking for my life every single day.

Participaction!

“Exercise, exercise, what's the big attraction?
Building up your heart and lungs - that's Participaction!”

That's an old ditty I remember from childhood - and, with today's obesity epidemic among youth (well, all ages really, but it's most dire for youth), one we could all benefit from still.

I did my part today: two long walks with my doggies, more walking at the shopping centre (where, unless I'm getting very heavy or bulky things I only ever park in one spot), the usual countless trips up and downstairs, and Pilates class to cap it all off.

I got into Pilates three years ago now. The community centre had an activity evening where you had ten-minute mini-lessons in a variety of disciplines and heard what each was best suited for. I pretty much instantly knew Pilates was what I needed. It strengthens your core, which in turn influences just about every other body part. It was perfect for my chronic neck and shoulder issues.

It still is. This year was a bit of an adjustment because we got a new teacher. It took me awhile to warm up to her and adjust to her style. At the beginning I didn't think she was going to be that good or teach that much. I still think she could explain the movements better - it's a very precise discipline and they have to be done correctly - but at least I had a good foundation already. And I like that she's doing a wider variety of exercises. Some days are better than others for my neck and shoulder (and very occasionally I hurt myself enough that I need a Robaxacet the next day) but overall it's a very good thing. My neck especially has improved since I began.

So I seem to have found my exercise niche. I'm doing my bit to “participact” and I hope other people find their own activities too. It especially hurts me to see sedentary kids. They're chauffeured to school and home, aren't allowed outside to play, and are pretty much glued to screens of various types for far too long. The amount of phys. ed in schools is laughable too. I could rant on and on, but the ultimate point is that if we want a healthy future, it needs to start with healthy kids today.

If I ran a school, every single day would begin with fifteen or twenty minutes of calisthenics and I'd encourage kids to walk or bike (or rollerblade, scooter, skateboard or even ski) to school every day too. Walking to and from school took me - most kids then - at least an hour a day. (the best was in winter, when I went the whole way climbing from snowbank to snowbank - awesome! And the idea that I was “exercising” never even entered my mind.) I'm absolutely convinced that if kids had more activity in their lives there would be far less hyperactivity in the classroom. Kids are made to move; we should be taking advantage of that in every way possible before it's too late.

The Battle (of the Blades) Has Ended

The battle has ended and the warriors can retire their blades. Only, unfortunately, the result wasn't what I'd hoped. Expected, perhaps, but not hoped.

The “battle” I'm talking about is a uniquely Canadian type of warfare. It's “The Battle of the Blades” where lumbering hockey players are magically transformed into elegant ice dancers. This is the third season and I've been a fan since day one. It really is wonderful to see hockey players develop not only their skating skills but also their personalities. They become more confident, more artistic and by the end they're so good you wish they were coming on tour to your local arena.

Last season was actually my favourite. They had such a strong cast. I truly believe it wouldn't have taken that much more effort to make Valeri Bure and Ekaterina Gordeeva a genuinely competitive team, they were that good. It took a long time for viewers to warm up to them, though. They were far too frequently - and completely undeservedly - in the bottom pair, skating off for survival on Monday night. Maybe people resented Russians dominating a Canadian event. So I was really pleased that justice prevailed in the end and the best team won the prize.

I don't think that was the case tonight. My personal favourites, Marie-France Dubreuil and Bryan Berard came second, and I think that was right. It's first and third I have a problem with. I think the true winners were Tanith Belbin and Boyd Devereaux. They were elegant and talented, had a real unison and connection with each other and the audience, and really exemplified the ultimate goal of turning hockey players into figure skaters. They truly were ice dancers.

But as so often happens in the real world, showmanship won out over substance, tricks over talent, and the number one spot ended up going to Tessa Bonhomme and David Pelletier. She is the first female hockey player on the show, and I think that gave her a big fan base from the get go. And David, of course, is legend. He's massively talented ... and insanely strong. That's what they capitalised on. He could pick Tessa up, spin her around, do the kinds of things he'd spent a lifetime training for and that the hockey players could never match. His partner was almost an afterthought, a plaything.

I think Tessa was pretty brave to allow herself to be picked up and tossed around, but I don't think she really developed enough as a skater herself. In a solo she was hesitant and very mediocre. She was stiff and not particularly flexible (not even as much as some of the guys!) The moves she did attempt were basic - I could have done almost as well. So that's where my complaint lies. Yes, their routines did look quite spectacular, but it was David making Tessa look good. She didn't develop as a skater nearly as much as many of the guys. David won the competition; Tessa was a pretty postscript.

Ultimately, though, all eight pairs are winners. They all advanced their skills and performed incredibly. All their charities are winners too, because every bit of the prize money involved in the show is donated to worthy causes. And the audience members and television viewers who were treated to eight weeks of skating magic win as well. A battle with no losers; what could be more apropos, what could be more Canadian.