Worried About Worry

I have a new thing to worry about: worrying! Until yesterday, I never thought of it as a sin. I know it can be futile, counter-productive, even destructive to your health, but I didn't consider it especially “wrong” in any way. Then I happened to read a devotional declaring that it is. I checked with the gospel of Google today (and by the time I'd entered “is worrying” it had already auto-completed with “a sin” so I can't be the only one curious about the issue). The general consensus? Yes, it is.

Now I like to think of myself as basically a good person - or one who tries to be, anyway - but if worrying really is a sin, then I'm guilty big time. Worrying is fear, though, and not trusting God enough, having faith that He will take care of you. So I can see the rationale. Like the birds of the air and the lilies of the field (Matthew 6:26 & 28) we should simply trust that our needs will be met. And I really would like to but ...

It's so much easier said than done. From the beginning worrying has also helped people survive. We've had to be ready at an instant for “fight or flight”. (And frankly I've seen plenty of birds worry too - particularly if a cat's in the neighbourhood.) It's genetic. Depending on the environment you were raised in, it can be learned as well. I'm sure God understands that and empathises with us.

Worry can even have advantages if you use it productively and take positive steps to address your worries. If concerns about health make you eat better and exercise more, that's a good thing. If worries about job prospects make you study harder, it's a good motivator. And if worrying about your retirement years makes you save more and live within your means that's good too. It's the worries that are irrational and taken to extremes that are dangerous and that are the really sinful ones I think.

For people like me who are predisposed to worrying, though, the battle to rein it in is tough. Just like someone who's predisposed to heart disease or alcoholism, I need to find ways to deal with my weakness. Intellectually, I know plenty already: exercise, adequate sleep, good diet, deep breathing, meditation, listening to relaxing music/sound effects, having a pet, being involved in things outside yourself, socialising, thinking about all the blessings you have to be grateful for - and, of course, prayer itself.

So many prayers have worry behind them (I wonder if it's the majority?) - worry someone won't get better, worries about jobs or finances; in our modern, fast-paced, materialistic world it feels there's more than ever to worry about. It's so, so hard not to. Worry isn't always rational either, and emotions are hard to control. And you worry precisely because you don't feel in control. Of course, that's especially when you should pray and give up your cares to someone who is.

At least I do see that I have a problem - a big one that's ruining my quality of life. Whether I can deal with it successfully is another question. Certainly not on my own. It's as if all the stresses I've had in my life have accumulated and now even small things overwhelm me. I really, really need help managing my worries. Guess I'd better get praying!